Journey of a Rose

It's been so long

2008-10-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long friends. I have had some unusual events going on this past summer. My mom got sick and I had to travel there to see her in the hospital. She got better and about a month later I got sick from spending time in the hospital with her. So there I was in the hospital and now 5 weeks later I am finally back to work. UGH......

"R" has been my rock threw everything. Taking care of me. Feeding me his wonderful cooking and checking in on me constantly to be sure I was getting the much needed rest!!! He is my everything.

Before all this I did get my pussy piercings. I will relay that in a coming post. But more than anything I wanted to say hi and wish everyone well.

Hugs to you all!!!!!

Happy 4th of July

2008-07-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hello all!!! I wanted to wish everyone a wonderful 4th of July. I am going to "R's" for the weekend and we have nothing planned and everything to do. We want to see movies, and go boating and watch the Sox's play and spend time with his newest house mate...his sweet little puppy. (Actually he is full grown, but looks like a puppy)

I am hungry for play. It has been so long. And even longer since I have been locked into my cuffs or collar. I hate how busy life gets and our vanilla life is crazy normally. I need his hands on me, hurting me, caressing me, making me beg and cry and want. He still owes me my Birthday spanking. I'm sure it's coming soon. sigh.........

I look forward to his toys and furniture. I have not ridden the pussy pony in some time or been over the horse. Although with the spanking/fucking bench the horse is rarely out. I do so love that bench. It's uses are many and only limited to his imaginations.

Well off I go to get some things done. I wanted to be sure that everyone knows we wish you all a fantastic holiday!!!!!

I will try to get back to some real blogging in a few weeks. Another trip coming next week.

Hugs to all

Back!!!

2008-06-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

Because I have been so busy with so much going on I decided to go back into some archives of mine and put one of them here to hold you over. This particular time was in July of 07. At that time "R's" son was still living in the house and well.....read ahead!!!!

JULY 2007

Early this morning, he enters the room as I am making the bed. He is beside me in but a few seconds bending me over with force and pushing me face down over the bed. His hand comes down hard and fast and I realize I will be having trouble sitting today. His son has gone to the gym and he takes the time to give me what I have needed for the last week. His hand warms me and brings that sweet pink glow to my cheeks...all 4 of them. The crop next and I squirm a bit and hold my breath when the hard ones come down. He has perfected this crop. Something he had never used until he met me. Soft and frequent at first, tap tap tap, and then hard and fast he whips me with it. I shout out, but I don't want him to stop. He knows this and continues. He stops and goes back to his hands again. Amazing and talented hands I wish I could clone. I am fully warmed up when the strap comes down with a swish and I cry out from the sting of it. I tell him again I don't like the strap. He knows this and I can feel him grinning. The strap again and I try to stand. His hand on the small of my back holds me tight to the mattress. There will be no escape. He warns me to stay still. I do exactly that as the crop, strap and cat fall on me hard and fast. As I look to my left I can see him swing the cat back and bring it down with brute force. I gasp and he takes the opportunity to slide his hand down to my pussy and play me into orgasm. Rubbing my juices on my back side before he brings the leather strap down on me hard and furious. Tears fall and I beg. "Please", I say...he goes back to his hand and the sting settles a bit before he continues with the strap still again. He plays me like an instrument. Rubbing gently and softly, massaging my red bottom. Tenderly. Are these the hands that so torment m? When I stand he takes me into his arms and holds me long and hard. Kissing my cheek. "Now he whispers in my ear, I want you to decide where you want your first piercing and why". "I will want a written explanation from you tonight from work". My mind races with the why's and why not's of modifying me. I want it so bad I can taste it. I know the pain will be intense. The idea that he will be the one to do it only turns me on that much more. I race to work that night and complete my assignment.

I'm back!!!

2008-06-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

sorry its been awhile. so busy with boston first and then work and now we are headed to Maine on Wednesday. I've had great days, just busy ones. Happy Birthday to Lucy. Lucy was one of the first people that I connected with on the blogs....so we have a little history!!!! I will be 52 in a few weeks so that makes Lucy and I both Geminis. Interesting eh.

"R" met me again at the top of the stairs yesterday. that look in his eyes once again. it had been hot and neither of us had slept well so when i woke at 8am i knew i would be staying up. in the bedroom i stood before him and hugged him while he ran his hand down to my sweet and very hungry pussy. He asked me if he should turn on the air conditioner and I agreed that it would be a great idea. He stepped back and took some thin rope and ran it around the ends of the barbells on my nipples. I hadn't expected that. the right nipple has been excruciatingly sensitive lately so i was really whimpering on that one. Not to worry, that does not stop him. Once he had them both looped he pulled the rope up....YOW!!! Get your collar he ordered me. I grabbed it quickly and put it on knowing just what he would probalby do. i was correct..the ropes were threaded through the collar and he pulled them up and tight. then pushed me down to my knees to take him and take care of my duties. it was uncomfortable to say the least but as i have a tendancy to do I began to drip and needed release. It was about 5-8 minutes that I continued this and he ordered me up over the bed so that he could fuck "his" pussy from behind. I leaned over the bed. "No", and he pulled me away from the edge so my breasts hung down from my body. Now for those of us with larger "twins" you know how they rock and roll if they are not pushed down on something. He entered me with a vengeance and my breasts bounced back and forth pulling the ropes on the barbells each time. I'm not sure how many times I came, but I know it was at least twice before his hands found the small of my back and he made that sweet moan...He was soooooooooooo hard and the fucking was more than delicious.

I will add more when we get back...I've not forgotten everyone.

Hugs to you all!!!!!!

Coming Soon

2008-05-27T00:37:00.000-07:00

Editing my pics....aren't the ropes a lovely color of blue...to match my bruises...

Story to follow in a few days!!!

Welts

2008-05-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

As i sit here ever so carefully so as not to aggravate the lovely welts on my bottom I am all but purring. I woke up this morning a little after "R" who I thought was busy in the garage or outside as he had expressed interest in working on some fiberglass on his boat. I really had trouble waking up and headed to the bathroom where I washed my face and brushed my messy hair out and headed back out of the bathroom.

There he stood. At the very top of the stairs. I wished him a good and happy morning and he replied with the same and walked quickly to me. He opened my robe took a hold on my right breast and led me into the bedroom. I knew the second I saw him at the top of the steps that he was in Dominant mode. I could feel myself immediately become submissive. It's an amazing process that comes over me when he turns like this. He is always my Master, my owner, my sir or whatever the title is we all use at different times. But when his eyes change just a bit and become focused and stern......I know.

Because I am at his house and it's important I get my core exercises in (keeping my back in check) I will leave you with that. The title will say it all. There will be more added in the next few days and some pictures. He took many.

A wonderful holiday to you both...enjoy my little tease!!!!!

A happy girl am I

Ring pic

2008-05-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

I have always loved this picture and it's one of the reasons I look so forward to the rings.

Rings

2008-05-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Friday the mail came at "R's" and with all the envelopes,junk mail and magazine, flyers and brochures (he gets more than anyone I know because of the profession) there is a small box. I shake it. MMMMM, can't get into it either. I hold it up to the light. Can't see threw the damn box. I put it down, pick it back up, shake it then put it down one last time and forget about it. Meanwhile there is another fedx box sitting on top of my little night bag. I email "R" asking him what it is. He emails me back to open it as it's for me. Now I've totally forgotten about the newest box. Upon opening the package I find several gorgeous sexy bras in the box in the prettiest sherbert colors. Yellow, green, pink, purple, red, black and white. I couldn't believe he bought them for me. I slip one on. IT FIT'S. Well it fit's but it's just a little small in the coverage, cup wise. I know with a smile on my face that "R" has a method to his madness. I run down to the computer and type my thank you out, echoing my appreciation for his thoughtfulness. How HOT is that when your Master if you will buys you pretty bras...and knows what size you need. The email back is sweet and he tells me he wants to show off some of my better assets. I love how much "R" loves my breasts. I love his barbells in me and I love the way he tortures them when he feels like it. MMMMMM all that attention. They have not been bound in some time. It's been difficult to play with my back, but thank goodness it is getting better. So soon we will be at it again.
Later that night I remember the newest box and I ask him what it is. He grins and tells me it's for me, but won't tell me what it is.

Early this morning as I am yanked down to his cock by a handful of hair, I suck eagerly looking up at him. "Do you want to know what is in the box" he asks me? I nodd with big eyes and continue to suck after a quick "yes". He proceeds to tell me he ordered and recieved my rings. They are for my pussy. He suggests that he will possibly numb me first to be able to put them in. I ask him how many and he says he is not sure. I can feel myself dripping immediatly. I am so excited. I tell him I want enough of them to be able to thread ribbon through them or so he can padlock them. "Oh yes" is all that comes back as I feel his cock jerk in my mouth.

I want to take them without any sort of help. I want to take the pain for him and enjoy each and every minute of it.

I'll keep you posted.

Vanilla or Dom?

2008-05-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

I got this from "Lucy's Place"......really fun to take...everyone should try it. Thanks Lucy!!!

Vanilla or Dom/Sub II -- [GREAT NEW PIX]

You scored as a Submissive

You are a natural submissive, and live to please your partner. While you have a will of your own, you enjoy challenging yourself if it gives someone you care about pleasure. While you are smart and decisive, you enjoy "letting someone else drive" at times. You are a rare and beautiful creature, and will be *extremely* cherished when under the care of the right Dominant. [And if you're female <>

Submissive

73%

Dominant

48%

Vanilla

35%

Sycophant / Doormat

33%

Abuser / Jackass

Some reading from "R"--ENJOY!!!

2008-05-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

This was sent to me by my owner.....A little caption at the top read "a little something to make you sweat"......It certainly did just that. Very intense piece of writing and leaves you really wet or at least it did me.

Received from "R" on May 15, 2008-----

Your asshole is your most private orifice and that is a large part of the forbidden desire of anal sex.

I like to make you kneel down, bend over and lube up your own asshole before I tie your legs. With proper lubrication, your resistance will tighten the grip of your anal sphincter around the girth of my cock, enhancing the enjoyment of plundering your filthy shithole that much more.

Although your ass can be taken from several positions the most common is from behind, “doggie style”. It’s notable that several mammalian species copulate this way exclusively. If you observe animals mating in nature, dominant males usually take their mate by force; pinning them to the ground, it is often a violent act with plenty of biting, especially about the neck and shoulders. In the wild, a male has to prove his worth to mate by force.

With you in this position, I sometimes like to put my hands on either side of your head, and ride you hard. Restrain your hands behind your back, or tie them off to the sides of the bed… your legs tied or bound. You take it hard in the ass and can only scream into and whimper.

You volunteered for this but you love the fact that you feel forced, something deep inside makes you do it because you need it. If forced to ask for it you are made to express your desire for it which would make you feel vulnerable and dirty… so you would rather volunteer it and have it taken from you.

I run one hand down between your legs to find your clit. I rub your clit lightly, just enough to make your cunt throb. I know you want me to fuck your pussy and fuck it hard, you ache for it. However, the lube glistens from the pucker of your asshole, so you know your pussy is not getting any attention, at least not yet.

I spank your ass until both cheeks are nice and red. Well defined hand prints all clearly visible on several inches of your exquisite ass. I love the gloriousness of your beautiful red ass and I can not wait to fuck it. You moan into your gag with each swat of my hand, and flinch involuntarily from the pain as my large powerful hand lands squarely on your ass with significant force. Although your body flinches from the pain of each spanking your body relaxes as it absorbs the attention it has hungered for. You nipples grow taught and your pussy grows wet. As I continue to spank you with one hand, I snake my other hand between your legs and find the slick wetness of your gooey cunt oozing its approval. I reward your other glorious fuck hole with the fingering it deserves. I caress your lips taking time to massage your clit and stroke your clitoral hood. Soon I am pressing deeper inside you and stroking the inner walls of your cunt, probing deeper I push my fingers as deep inside you as they will go and curl them appropriately until I locate the soft sponginess of you G-spot. I stroke your sweet snatch like this while continuing to reign down thundering blows to the cheeks of your reddening ass… until I sense from your breathing you are about to cum and I stop.

I get on my knees behind you and let my hard cock bounce on your red ass cheeks, just to let you know how hard it is. I watch your glistening hole twitch in anticipation, twinkling with the artificial goo you smeared on it minutes before. It is such a magnificent picture, wet with lube, between your spanked red ass cheeks radiating the warmth of their punishment.

I take hold of my cock and place it at the entrance of your asshole, moving it in very small circles massaging it with the soft spongy tip of my cock. I grab your hips and slowly begin to inch it in. You squeal and try to rise up, because it feels too big and you panic. I push you back down and pin you down to the bed with a powerful hand to the back of your neck. You try to mumble something but you can’t catch your breath as the head of my cock pops past the tight muscles of your anal sphincter. You gasp as my cock starts to slowly inch its way up your ass.

I thrust my hard cock as far as it will go into your ass, and you gasp again, not ready for its size. Your breath is short and fast; you try to tighten your ass, testing my power. You melt into a kind of used submissive mode as you are punished, tamed and trained. You feel so submissive taken this way. You love being forced, so lewd and dirty it fulfills your desire to be a filthy whore. You have a hard time admitting how much you love this, even to yourself, but you do. The position, the pain, the humiliation… it all comes together as one lustful feeling that washes over you.

I lean over you and put my palms on the floor on either side of your head, pinning your shoulders down with my forearms, so you can not move forward or from side to side. You are kept in position, so I can ram my hard thick fuck stick deep into your ass. Your asshole and body are required to take the whole force of each thrust. Slowly, I pull my cock out, until the tip of my cock is hovering fervently at the entrance to your ass, and then thrust it back to the hilt.

You whimper appreciation because your long desired ass fucking has finally begun but it is not fast enough. Your whimpering also expresses a need and deep desire to have your tight little shithole pummeled. Again, I slowly pull out to the entrance of your ass, but this time I pull completely out. Once my cock has been completely withdrawn, I thrust for violently to cram my thick meaty fuckstick back deep inside your ass. I do this again and again, you feel like you are being entered anew, each time. I bury the entire shaft of my long thick cock up your anus until my balls massage the lips of your cunt. As I force your butthole open each time on the girth of my cock, I whisper into your ear, "You like this, don't you? You need this, don't you? My naughty little girl, all tied up and getting her tight little ass fucked."

I don't wait for an answer, but pull out again and again only to re-enter that tight little asshole. I swing my hand down hard against those red ass cheeks with a power that I can feel reverberate through my cock deep inside your bowels. You gasp at the feeling this causes, and I hear you breathe the word "yes", as I pull out and do it again.

I tell you how I like to watch my hard cock as it slides effortlessly into your naughty little ass, punishing your little hole with animal like thrusts. You tell me you deserve this punishment, because you are my naughty little girl, my dirty little anal whore who wants nothing more than to please me. You ask me to make it hurt because you deserve it. My slut has been a bad girl.

You whimper more feverishly as your ass fucking gets faster. I continue to spank your ass as I ream your favorite fuck hole. I vary the angle of my hips to alter the direction my throbbing cock penetrates and stretches your gaping asshole. I pull you back onto my cock to magnify this effect, reaching down for a fist full of your hair to yank your head back while my other hand lifts your hips up and back driving my cock deeper into you.

You are on the floor and the force of your anal pile driving makes you slide back and forth across the rug with each thrust, recoiling from the constant pounding. You nipples, knees and shoulders begin to develop rug burn as your asshole burns with its own uniquely satisfying throb. I can feel the muscles of your anal sphincter stretching around and conforming to my cock.

I reach around and find your nipples, intensifying the pain from a slow burn to piercing jolt, pinching them as I fuck you. With each thrust, I twist them harder, and pull them mercilessly when I pull out. You are beside yourself now, knowing you are reaching the point where you will loose yourself in a series of orgasm which will drain every remaining ounce of energy and shake you to your core.

A whiney sound is coming from your throat, as you feel my cock grow inside you and you sense my orgasm could be near. I grab hold of your waist and dig my fingers into your flesh as I shove faster and deeper into your burning ass. I start to call you my naughty slut and my dirty little whore, as I ream your filthy shithole for all it is worth.

I punish you with my cock, as it gets harder and larger, nearing my orgasm. You can feel it getting larger and you are thrilled at the feeling it brings. You love being taken by a powerful man, being my lustful toy, being my play thing, for my pleasure. Being taken by force in your most private place, you can't get enough. You know you are my dirty little whore and you love it. As I continue to pound your ass I ask you, “Do you want to be my good little cum dumpster?”

“Yes, yesss sir, I do…” you whimper. I grab you hard and hold you still as one last time I shove my cock deep into your ass. I hold it inside you, as I spill my hot cum into the condom deep in your bowels. I groan a deep groan that builds into a scream. To you, it sounds like a roar, pure and animalistic. You whimper your appreciation as my cum fills your ass. You want to cum yourself. Finally, I reach around and pinch your clit, rubbing it roughly, telling you to cum for me as I continue to fuck your ass. You scream as you can't contain the violent spasms that rush through your bound body.

Your own cum gushes from your cunt and runs down your legs to the floor. I continue to fuck you, until the last of my cum is buried deep in your ass, your orgasm is so powerful, you can't catch your breath as your first orgasm spills over into your second… and a third, as I continue to manipulate your clit from behind. You finally start to breath easier after a few minutes.

I pull out of your freshly reamed asshole, sit back and look at your quivering pucker, winking at me as if trying to convince me to put my cock back inside. It needs to be filled and fucked again. It looks like it has lost a friend. I am quick at recovering. I think I will leave you in your current position. Because in a few minutes it will be time to start again. I think this time I will start with your neglected cunt, punishing your throbbing snatch from behind. After you cum for me several more times, it will be time to roll you on your back and tie your hands above your head to the headboard.

Your knees will be pushed back until they rest nearly beside your head, they too will be tied to the headboard… leaving you bound and completely open to me. My cock will snake its way up your shithole once again, as your favorite dildo stretches your cunt and my finger and a vibrator take turns on your clit. Yes, it will be me in your ass… again.

"R" Topping

2008-05-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

I waited for him in the bedroom. I had ordered him to shower and come to me when he was done. I plowed through my own toy bag and pulled out what I was pretty sure I would use. Flogger, paddle with one soft fuzzy side and a hard side, beads (yum), cat o'nine tails, dildo, vibrator and a thick cotton ribbon to tie his hands with. I wanted a blindfold as well. But I don't have one. So I took it upon myself to check his..lol. I found my beloved blindfold and borrowed it from him. In looking through his bag however I decided to help myself to some clothes pins as well. Back to the bedroom I ran with my treasures in tow. I was anxious, excited and exhilarated at the same time. I had put on my black and white lace corselette, but no panties. I set the bed up with a pillow in the middle to raise his sweet little arse to my torments and waited.

The room was dark and cool when he entered. Although it was later afternoon and the sun was out I had closed all the curtains and blinds and turned all the lights off. Three small candles created all the light we needed. I removed his robe (sighs...I just love his body) and told him to give me his hands. He put them in front of me and I tied them together. Up on the bed I ordered him, and expressed he was to be face down with his belly on the pillow. I crawled up next to him and told him I would be putting a blindfold on. To my surprise he was fine with that, (remember I am submissive and topping, if he had so much as said no I would have probably fallen to my knees and asked forgiveness lol)

I stood up and looked down at my "owner" stretched out before me. Arms above his head blindfold on and completely naked. I realized that now I was in charge. I could do anything to him I wanted. I knew that this was going to be a tremendous amount of fun and just as challenging because I wanted to please him and be proud of me and enjoy it to the max. But I also knew it was the first time and I might make some terrible mistakes. I didn't know if I could hurt him so I had taken this as a sensual bondage topping session.

I pulled the paddle out first. Running it over his sweet bottom. (I love his ass) Part of this experiment if you will was to give "R" an opportunity to feel what the different things are like on the bare skin. He has never been topped and although he really has a great understanding of "warm up" and such, I wanted him to see why the warm up is so important. I wanted him to understand why the flogger is my favorite. The feel of it, the smell of it. I did not deliver a hand spanking (well maybe a few slaps here and there) but I used the paddle for his warm up. Slapping one cheek and then the other gently at first and then harder. I realized that i was developing a rhythm. Something I always found interesting in Dominants. They all seem to have a particular rhythm. As I moved ahead with the paddle, soft side, hard side, soft side, hard side..and then hard side harder and harder until I saw the cheeks flinch a bit. THIS WAS FUN!!! I WAS REALLY ENJOYING IT. I would kiss each cheek tenderly and start again. And then I saw it. That warm pink glow. Each cheek had just the nicest circle of pink on it. I kept going.

I got up and pulled out my little flogger. I say little because "R" has an amazing Elk flogger that is very heavy and dense. I started with mine and spent alot of time on his back and shoulders. I switched sides of the bed so as not to spend to much time in one area. This I learned from him. He never canes me from just one side. He always switches and that makes perfect sense. I took off for the closet. I was in Topping mode now. I wanted the good stuff and I didn't have it. But "R" does. He believes you get what you pay for and so orders only quality items. When I opened the closet door the smell of leather hit me. I pulled the leather strap, flogger and leather cat out practically skipping back to him.

I told him what I was doing, giving him some more with my flogger and then told him I had his and he would feel the difference. And feel it he did. I ran it down his back softly and pulled it back and brought it down. He responded immediately that he could tell how much heavier his was compared to mine. I spent allot of time bringing the flogger down across his back, shoulders and ass. I LOVED this. I could see the pink in his back coming up and the warmth of his skin when I touched it. Just amazing. But what really pleased me was how comfortable I was swinging the flogger. I rarely missed and I think only once a stray strand found his upper shoulder.

I followed this with the leather strap. Or strop as I'm not sure what it is called. This is an implement that I do not like when he uses it on me and I reminded him of that once and he reminded me that I am a sub who likes her owners marks on her for days and the strap does just that. He was right. Although the strap brings me to tears, I am grateful for the welts I carry for days after. The tenderness it causes on my backside when I sit. Reminding me of who I am.

I brought it down on his bottom. He didn't flinch. I brought it down again and again but not as hard as I knew he did it to me. Remember I'm still new here. I wasn't sure how far I should go.
The flogger, the paddle the strap the cat. I went back and forth and back and forth. His gorgeous ass was crimson and hot now. Just the way I wanted it. But I needed a bit of something myself and so I crawled up between his sweet cheeks and ran my tongue in and around that special little spot that drives him absolutely nuts. I wanted to tease him to torment. But the problem was it was teasing me just as much!!!! I love licking him and his responses are second to none. That sweet butt raising up to meet my mouth and my tongue sliding along his crack all the way down to his balls. YUMMY!!!! I got up and started paddling him again and I found that because he was well warmed up I could really lay some harder blows to him and enjoy it. Back between his legs I went, licking some more.

As I got up he moved a bit and explained that his arms needed to come down to his sides. I checked the clock and realized I had been working on him for over an hour. I undid his wrists and allowed him to move his hands down. He of course grabbed for me as he brought them down and I scolded him telling him "no touching"!!!! I think I surprised him with that. Truth was if he had really gotten to me I would have been a puddle right there.

I decided I needed to put something in that cute little ass. I had pulled the glass dildo from his bag that he had used on me once. Let me tell you that this is not small and because it does not flex it's rather uncomfy going in. "R" is just getting used to anal play and enjoys it immensely but i wanted him to feel just a bit of uncomfortableness, because he loves to create that for me with the many things he puts in me. :) I dripped the lube down his crack (after licking him for a bit more) and put the dildo against his little hole and pushed a bit. It was not moving well and I quickly realized that the KY massage/lube is no good for this. I wanted him uncomfortable but I didn't want to hurt him. I ran to get the lube he uses on me and found it to be much better as I slowly penetrated him. Understand that this is not small as I said and it had ridges so I would go one ridge at a time very very slowly, twisting a bit and sliding in and out to give him a chance to get used to it. To my delight and surprise he was able to almost take the entire thing. (I remember when he used it on me the begging that took place..lol...not that it stopped him) I removed this and moved on to the beads...sliding them in very quickly. Somewhere in there he mentioned that he needed to start using these on me more. I slid them in and out, in and out and then made sure that every last one was in his bottom before standing up and ordering him to roll over.

He moved quickly and in a matter of seconds his wonderful cock lay in front of me. Don't misunderstand I had many thoughts of what I would do running through my head. But as I have told him "his cock owns me". Before a blink of an eye I was between his legs, sucking and licking and growing more and more needy... I reached up and placed some nice clothespins on his nipples, but my only focus was honestly his cock. I wanted it and needed it. As I began to slide into sub space (I often do when I suck him) I caught myself and looked up at him, pulling the clothespins from his nipples. I need you to fuck me I ordered him. I didn't want him to think for one minute this was for him. It was for me and he would do it because I told him too.

He was behind me in seconds. This is truly my favorite position and he enjoys it as well. He fucked me long and hard and filled me to capacity with his warm sweet juices. I was so thrilled to have an owner that is so willing to lay down for me and give me the opportunity to top him and use him. I asked him in an email later what he enjoyed and liked most and I was delighted to have gotten this wonderful email from him.

From "R"

I enjoyed the idea of giving up control and being the recipient of your fun and directions. I enjoyed seeing what areas of fun you were going to direct your play towards. Also, the actual knowledge of what some of the toys felt like. I know that it will take you 3-4 times before you know where you want to go, because you always say later, "if I only thought of that" and after a few times you have ideas in your head from the experience. And I enjoyed the quick switch you did from top to bottom once I was flipped over. The cock was just too inviting for you ( hee hee)

Like you said before, the spanking and the paddles take the warm up time. It is good for the Dom to know what it really feels like so I can tailor the future play with the experiences there in my mind.

So I already have plans to what will take place the next time I Top him. And I have learned that I enjoy it. I also know it doesn't take away from his proper ownership. When I top him it is because he is letting me, however in the next session I plan to step it up a bit with the tools of torture..lol. A little harder, a little faster and a lot more sensation. YUM>>>>>>>

Happy Mom's Day!!!!

2008-05-11T14:42:00.000-07:00

I awoke to "R" gently playing with me. I always love it. He loves to twist and pull "his" barbells, sending tiny jolts of lightning down through my breasts and into my pussy. "drip drip"..lol I never tire of his attentions. But today was special. I found myself quickly between his legs doing what I so love to do. What I have blogged on over and over and won't bore you with the details in this blog. He granted me a wondeful fuck and took me from behind as I lay belly down leaned over the bed. I came three times and he put that very warm and sweet deposit deep inside me with that little moan that just makes my toes curl.

It was early for me. 8am on a Sunday. He will often wake me up in the early hours but then let me go back for another hour or two of sleep. He's learned that waking me up does not in any way hinder my sleep if I want more when we are done. I'm pretty sure he loves that!!! Today I wanted to be with him downstairs for coffee early before we headed to my sons house for brunch. As I made his coffee he disappeared downstairs. I turned to hand him his cup as he came up the steps and around the corner with a card and Roses. I was totally stunned. He smiled that sweet smile and handed me both. "Happy Mothers Day" he said to me with a tender little kiss. I didn't know what to say. The card was so so so so sweet and darling and it made me warm from the top of my head to the tip of my toes that he picked it out for just me.

Sometimes I laugh at "R" when we are just doing the daily normal things. I have often told him that he is nothing more than a little boy in a grownup body. He is 54 and he does more than most 20 year olds. His favorite thing in the world is playing in the dirt, gardening, planting, growing, seeding, just anything to do with dirt. But what I love about him most is his passion for all things. He LOVES so much. He LOVES to do so much. He has a perpetual smile on his face and even when his day is not what he wants it to be he makes me feel like all is well.

We arrived at my son's house and the twins (18months old) greeted us at the door, with big hellos and tiny giggles. My grandaughter immediatly ran and got a book and waltzed right past me to "R" who pulled her up close to him and started reading to her. As I watched her little hands pointing at the pictures and "R" describing what she was looking at, I knew that there wasn't much else that I could ever want in this man I call my "other".

He is such a part of me. The part of me that makes sense. The part of me that tells me if I am right or wrong and why. The one that holds me if I cry because I am hurt or angry. The one who sleeps next to me many nights a week and reaches over every so often just to touch me and let me know he is there. The one who holds my hand when we take walks. The one who will often cook and bring dinner to me at work; setting up the picnic table so we can eat with each other. The one who texts me the Sox's and Patriots scores and lets me know if we won or not if I am at work.

He is the one I wear my collar for!!!

To all those out there who are Mom's...I wish you the a wonderful day. If it's half as nice as my day has been and continues to be..it will be the best ever!!!!!!

The Night

2008-05-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

It was a long night at work. I was tired. "R" had asked me if i was going to be with him that evening or come the next night. I knew when I left for work I would be going to him later. I have times that I get so hungry for him that I can hardly focus. Hardly maintain any sort of normalcy. My thoughts become tangled with what I want to do to him, what he is doing at that moment so far away from me, how he tastes and smells and what his hard cock feels like against my warm cheek. The night dragged horribly.

The house was dark but for one light left on in the kitchen for my arrival. I slid in quietly and put my stuff away and crept up the stairs silently. There is an ambiance to the room late at night when I slowly open the door to hear his soft breathing. My entire being relaxes and my body almost sighs on it's own. I tiptoed very slowly over to the bed using the thin lines of light peeking through the blinds from outside as my guide. My hand brushed just his foot, hidden under the softness of an Egyptian down comforter that we both love. I couldn't stand it. Very very slowly I slid the comforter down and off the bed. He stirred just a bit and I waited. I reached for the sheet and ever so carefully pulled it down inch by inch until he laid before me on his back completely vulnerable to my own selfish wants. I slid between his legs and rested my head on his thigh with a soft sigh and licked just the tip of his hardness. God I was so hungry. "R" stirred and I knew that he knew I was there. He is always receptive to this sort of sudden urge from me and more than willing to allow me access to him at anytime. I'm so lucky in that respect. My mouth slid down his shaft and I cupped his soft balls in my hand and massaged them with a matching rhythm to my mouth. I was in sub heaven and would soon be headed to subspace in short order if his hand had not suddenly reached down and grabbed a large fistful of my hair, ordering me up and on his cock. I was immediate in my response to please him and I scrambled up and over him and slid his hardness into my very soaking pussy. I was dripping. I've not been able to ride him in some time due to my injury and with my ok this week I am back to almost normal capacity. He pulled my breasts to him and bit down on my left nipple ordering me to fuck him and fuck him well. I moved quickly and his hands came down on my backside as he asked me when the last time I shaved was. I was floored with this question...because I immediately told him that morning. (One of "R"'s expectation is that my pussy be shaved daily) although I quickly took it back and told him maybe it was yesterday. Fact was I couldn't remember. I knew I had shaved but it had not been quite as recent as I told him. All motion stopped. "Get off the bed, go shave, and you can then come back in here and suck me". I obliged. He had done this to me one other time and I was mad at myself to have let it happen again. Let's just say it was the quickest shower in my life and I came back squeaky clean with a hairless pussy. I was back between his legs again, sucking his amazing cock back into my mouth. His smell was amazing, and the taste of him with just a little bit of me caused me to drip once again. This was my place, my heaven, my submissive responsibility. Every lick was for him. The room was cool and dark and the shadows danced across the walls from the outside world. But we were alone in our own place together away from all of it. I heard the soft moan as he came just off the mattress a bit and his cock jerked on my tongue. The sweetness of him spilled into my mouth and down my throat. As he finished I pulled him out and ran just the tip of him over my cheeks and face. Spreading his moisturizer over me. My head went back down on his thigh and I rubbed and kissed his leg just a bit. I was home.

I felt the bed tip and I looked up to see that the room was a bit lighter as "R" leaned over and lightly kissed me. I love this part of the morning when he comes to me before he starts his day. He always looks so handsome. "Bye" was all he said and the room was empty again. As i always do I reached over and took his pillow. The scent of his hair remained there and I was asleep again in seconds.

Later that morning I climbed into the shower. Washing my breasts I felt a slight tingle. I looked down and to my delight I saw the perfect impression of his teeth around my nipple. I sighed, I dripped and smiled that oh so happy and content smile. My owner had marked me for the day. Leaving me a reminder of the lovely evening.

Thank you "R"!!!

for those of you waiting for the "topping" post..it will be out very soon!!! Thanks for your patience.

Early Morning....

2008-05-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

It was 5:30am. I woke in the coolness of a dark room. A strange sense of desire. I realized he was awake, sliding his hand over me, touching me here and there. His hands always find their way to my breasts and the barbells that await his torment. Pulling, twisting and turning them. Often times grabbing my hair by a fistful and pulling me firmly down to his groin. But tonight was different. His right hand played just a second with my tender nips and slowly slid up to my throat. I didn’t understand at first as his fingers wrapped gently but firmly around my neck. I had heard of those Dom’s who would and could choke their subs at will. Taking away their breathing as they pleased. He had never done this. My first instinct was to reach up and pull this force away. I was sleepy and so I was not quick to react. But my head was reeling with thoughts of the power he had over me at this moment as his hand closed lightly on my throat. Should I squirm away, grab him or cry out I wondered? But I am an obedient sub and I do not question. I reached up and stroked his arm. I trusted him. I could honestly feel myself drip and his hand slid around my throat and I closed my eyes waiting for the reality of what was going to happen. But he did not tighten his grip and pull the breath from me; he was simply searching for my collar. I had not put it on when I went to bed. I knew I would pay for it later and I breathed just a sigh as he pulled himself away from my neck. My skin was cold and I knew it was the residual fear of what I was sure he was going to do. “R” had always told me that our minds are our biggest sex organ. I realized just how true it was that early morning.

1000 and counting!!!!

2008-05-01T08:18:00.001-07:00

I have hit 1000 profile views....1000 reads.....I'm doing the happy dance!!!! Thanks to all those who visit often and continue to come back. A big thanks to those who are gracious enough to leave a comment here and there. I so appreciate it and enjoy reading them and responding. I am getting ready for my weekend with "R". So packing and putting my place to rest for a few days. I am hoping for some sun, warmer weather, some soft moans from my owner, light kisses and snuggling. He is my focus this weekend as he should be. After all isn't that my job..to serve............and I so love it.

You are cordially invited

2008-04-29T23:40:00.000-07:00

I sent this to "R" this evening. I have a need to "top" him in a sensual sort of way. Take some of his control and do what I like with him. I've never done this before and we have never really tried it. I have expressed to him on occasion that I would like to have him train me a bit with his paddles and floggers and canes and crops. Perhaps giving him an opportunity to enjoy the wonderful sensations he empowers me with. I am a little nervous, but already my mind is running wild with things to do to him. He has been so wonderful regarding my recent injury, (I ruptured a disc in my back) and I want to show him my appreciation. So I sent this to him a bit ago. I can already see his sweet smile when he reads it and i can only imagine his response. I think he will be pleased.

You are Cordially Invited
Where: His house
When: Saturday May 3
What: Submissive in Top Training

Sit back and enjoy the "turning of the tables" if you will.
An Owner's Submissive wishes to give him an evening of "Sensual Pleasure"

Giving him the opportunity to not have to think but only feel, providing him with some of the wonderful sensations he provides her with.

Things to expect
The evening will start with a lovely shower as she soaks him down getting him all clean and sweet. Placing her owner face down on the bed so that her soft tongue can find that precious and sensitive zone that she knows he so loves. Allowing her to tease him in the sweetest of ways.
There will be torment with the pleasure as well. As this submissive will play with and use many things that her loving Dominant has used on her.
She will expect her owner to comply but his control will never be totally lost as she will abide by how far he allows her to go. A blindfold perhaps so he can't see what is coming. Perhaps a paddle to be used or clamps or .... well he just won't know now will he. A sensual evening for my sensual man.

Please RSVP ASAP
There can be no play until Saturday May 3. (this of course can be over ruled by the boss, I'm not stupid) :)

An Old Story

2008-04-28T22:29:00.001-07:00

Because I have not had to much to type about these last few weeks I thought I would bring in an old story that I wrote approx. 2 years ago. I didn't ask "R" if I could and if he requests that I take it out I will, but he is usually very good about these things and has enjoyed these stories as well. This was one of my many first experiences, as I considered my first year as a submissive my first everythings. Did that even make sense...lol..anyway this was around Christmas in 2006 or 2005, now I"m not even sure. It was my first Master. We still speak as friends and he is so very happy for me to have found "R". I hope you enjoy it. It's long so grab a cup of coffee...

December Meeting
“Nope” was all he texted back. Oh God she thought to herself, this was bad. He had never refused her. It has been days since she played and he was coming to her in the next 24 hours so play was mandatory if she was to be able to do what would be expected of her. Her request to play came after his text telling her to double check her calendar as he would be leaving marks. She was dripping before she finished reading it, this made her so hot. She had brought it on herself and knew it with her texts to him that she was off balance and walking into walls and would soon need a helmet. She had typed it giggling to herself knowing he could only chuckle from it because he would understand, but she really was in a very bad way. She was not centered. It had taken her a few days to figure this out and promptly sent the text to him. She knew he was the only one who could fix it. He had called her right away (this was unexpected) but she had to work that particular day so he told her definitely the next day. She was appreciative of his quick reply and his wanting to get to her almost immediately. The texts flew shortly after and now here she was with a play denial. She could see him in her mind smiling when he sent the text. Good lord. What now. She knew that if she did not play before she saw him she would never be able to hold out to him. But on the other side of it, she almost relished that he denied her, knowing this would be a true test.
As the night went on at work she busied herself with the team party and food and gifts, questions a meeting and several other items that came up. One thing that did not leave her was her play denial. It ate at her for hours. She was afraid to disappoint him if she could not hold out her orgasm. She had come a very long way with it. Remembering how silly she thought the whole concept was. How did a woman hold out from pleasure and what was the objective she had asked herself in the beginning? She learned quickly what it was. Orgasms that rocked her world and soaked her mattress. She never questioned much after that. She was beginning to lose focus at work. This had never happened. The denial was driving her mad. She wanted to go into the ladies room and play. But would never do such a thing. She finally gave in and texted him, begging for permission to play. Three words returned to her …..”You May Play”. She was shocked. The rest of the night went by uneventful.
Once home she grabbed her little bullet and got comfortable. She could not wait and thought of all that he might, could or would do to her the next day. She considered putting on her restraints and trying that, but she had not asked him for permission and opted out of that idea. She was not aroused enough and was having trouble concentrating. What was the deal? She never had trouble with personal play in the past. She tried for 30 minutes and finally gave up, very frustrated and concerned that the next day would be the same. Maybe her body would betray her and never allow her another orgasm. Maybe she was suddenly frigid. She told herself to stop overreacting. She went to bed confused, excited and realized she was dripping a bit. She recognized then she could not cum because she knew he really did not want her too. If she did not figure it out before (and she had) she would know it now…those parts of her belonged to him and were now expressing this in the most torturous of ways.
Once up she went about getting ready with one difference. She had decided that she would surprise him with a slight change in routine. It was Christmas just a few days behind them and she wanted to dress for the occasion. She had not asked permission and knew that although he might get a kick out of it, she was going against his expectations. She could easily end up with a punishment. She thought long and hard about it and decided that it would be worth it so see him chuckle over the silliness of what she was going to do. On went the red velvet bra with the white fur trim, the white thong, thigh highs, a white shirt, and just to really make sure there was no mistaking her intent of being an elf, she put on the red and white fur Santa hat. These were props that would not be on long, but fun just the same. She got his gift out and placed in front of the pillow, kneeled and waited. Sometimes this was the hardest part, the waiting. Knowing he would be touching her shortly. She was nervous as well that she had not cum the night before. As hungry as she was this could be disastrous for her. She saw him round the corner with his bag in tow. God how she loved to see that bag. It was like an old friend. Never knowing what he would pull out of it, she was never disappointed. The response she wanted she came as he laughed and wished her a Merry Christmas. She told him she knew she didn’t ask but could not resist, stumbling over her words wondering if he would be receptive to it. He made it clear that this would not be a problem today. She was quite relieved. She had actually forgotten the gift that lay in front of her, when he reached down for it and asked what it was. She was so excited to have gotten this for his bag. She had seen it on eBay and diligently bid on it. It was a small horse hair whisk whip with a nice leather handle she told him. She reminded him that he had told her in the past when she asked that he did not have one. He mentioned it was not on his list of things he needed, so she knew he would not get one for himself. She reiterated to him that she wanted him to have this for that bag she so loved. Something he could share with others. She especially hoped he tried it on her first. He gave her a hug and thanked her and proceeded to walk around her and massage her shoulders, telling her she had tension there. She knew this, with moving her office, her new team, thoughts of having to get her place back in order after the holidays and finally just the hunger she had been having the last few days had taken a toll. Sleep was rare and nerves were at an all time high for her. She usually dealt well and thought she had so far, but knew that if she had gone another few days she would have been looking for a bridge to jump off. Thank God for him!!! He spent some extra time massaging her neck and reached down to pinch her nipples. The sparks were immediate and went down to her toes. It was truly delicious.
He had her rise and expressed that she should remove all her “elf” clothing. She did quickly and hopped up on the bed for the cuffs to go on. His hands pulling the buckles and fitting them to her, sliding them around to be sure they were not to tight was a favorite thing for her. She loved it. It was his ownership his protection. She knew today would be more intense, and could not have been more turned on. She needed to be beat. She knew there had to be a better word. Or maybe not. She just knew she wanted the marks he had spoken of in his text to her. Bruises, stripes, spots, whatever he wanted to put on her. She just wanted to be reminded for days that he had “fixed” her.
Once over his knee the swats began with a vengeance and he explained that he would be making sure she was well warmed up for her morning with him. He rubbed and spanked and every so often just ran his hand between her legs and barely touched her. Each time he did this, it was like a lightning bolt. It was almost torture. Sweet sweet torture. She wanted to cum so badly. She had not told him yet that she did not cum the night before and questioned if she should. She squirmed under him and felt the warmth begin to consume her. It was like a warm blanket on a cool night.
He had her step down and told her to remain where she was. She had her feet on either side of her stool and remained leaned over the bed. Her bottom was warm and when he placed the cool pooh paddle against her skin it made her jump. It felt delicious. Thoughts of her vulnerability warmed her more as he smoothed the coolness over her bottom. It felt so good she could feel herself begin to relax and truly enjoy the moment. It was always amazing the way he was able to take over her thoughts, sensations and could make time almost stand still. When he was there she escaped, and took time away from all that pulled at her in every direction daily. She answered to no one, but him. Had no expectation but what she knew he wanted from her. “Smack”, it came down hard. He told her how many she would receive from Pooh today and she braced herself for it. One after the other they came down and behind every few came his hands. Problem was she was very turned on and he was teasing her just a bit different today. Barely touching her and then taking his hand away. God it was awful and wonderful at the same time. She had no doubt he knew it. He always did.
Once done with Pooh, he moved to an instrument she had discovered quite by accident one day in the shower. It was the end of the loofah brush. A fairly thin piece of smooth wood, however thick enough to hold up to a good warming. She had almost put it away before he came over after hitting the palm of her hand with it just a couple of times. The little bugger hurt. She wasn’t sure she would like just how much it might “warm” her. But she had already told him about it and decided it should remain out for him to play with. He was delighted to try it out. And try it out he did as she remained leaned over the bed, legs spread over the stool, arms reaching above her head. He tapped her a few short ones and she knew before he began that this would be challenging. She was ready. The first came down and she yelped, already infuriated at herself for not hiding it. He saw her reaction and rather than slow down he landed several more on top and around it. She saw stars and yelped on each one, and told him just how much she didn’t like it. Knowing full well that “not” liking something only gave him more reason to use it. He gave her a nice rubbing after several more whacks and told her he was going to give her 10 and then a nice massage. He advised her to breathe between them and move the pain to her special places. She bit down on the pillow and took each one with either a yelp or gasp begging herself to do just as he said. She began to feel herself slide away somewhere and the tears started. It still hurt but differently. She was immensely turned on and almost came when he touched her once again. She really squirmed and almost wished he wouldn’t touch her right now. This was hard. This was delicious.
It was time for her to climb up on the bed he told her. Face down as he was going to restrain her for the remainder of the time he was there. She relished these times, when she was completely at his mercy. He told her this was better for her so that no roaming hands could get in the way, although she had been very good. He would be taking care of her and she knew she would be lost to it. She loved watching him run the ropes around the posts of the bed and the way he pulled her tight to the four corners before attaching her. Loved the way her arms pulled up and out and the cuffs pulled at her. Her legs wide to whatever he wanted to use on her. He allowed her a pillow for her head and they were ready to begin. If she lifted her head up she could see him move to the bag, but could never see what it was he pulled out. When the first strike came her head came up immediately. He was using the new horse hair whip. She was elated, and determined to tell him just how it felt for application in the future. It was delivering the sensation of being scored with tiny hairline scratches. The more repetitive he was the more it intensified the sting. It reminded her of a thousand little razors slicing in to her. She knew this could fast become a favorite and a most hated piece. She told him how it hurt more across the back then her bottom or legs. He of course obliged her by bringing it down over and across her shoulders. As a final touch he brought it between her legs and let it go a few times. She almost came and put her face into the pillow to muffle the moan. She wondered if he knew.
The wood paddle came next. He rubbed it on her bottom and tapped lightly before landing more than a few good blows. She realized what he meant by warming her up. The paddle stung yes, and of course this thrilled her. But the sting was nothing like when he first started her OTK. He continued to tease her clit and pussy with his hands at every opportunity. Her belly was beginning to cramp from holding out on the orgasm she so desired and needed. He pulled out the leather paddle next and he brought the blows down hard and fast. He had not been kidding when he told her that today he was going to leave marks. She knew she had to be at least bruised if not with abrasions from the spanking, paddling, and horse whip. What she did not know was that he was just preparing her for the finale. She had no idea what was coming, and it was better that she did not know. The restraints would be necessary to keep her in place when he finished her this morning. Without them she would likely go running to another room once she saw what he had planned. The last swat took her breath away and he reminded her to move the pain. She was truly in paradise.
He spent time caressing her bottom giving the warmth a chance to catch up to her head. The restraints held her fast when she felt the first slash of the single tail come down on her back. She had learned to love the brutality of this particular toy he had. The timelessness of it. It always took her back in time to young maidens on ships being forced to perform for their captors while at the hands of sadists of a different breed, those who would leave long open gashes for any misdeeds. She knew it was the images of what this item did that made her drip. With each slice of it her head and back came up as far as they could and she yelped. It was razor sharp and she never understood how she did not end up with lacerations from it. She knew he was capable of leaving them. He never did. Instead upon inspection each time he used his whip, she would have small lines crisscrossing all across her back in a plaid sort of way. Against the white skin the stripes were always very prominent. For a few days they would almost feel like a sunburn, reminding her of his visit and her submission to him in any capacity he desired. Often it could take more than a week for the pink of the lines to disappear. He was whipping her in 10’s. After each 10 he would stop and massage and rub her. She knew the maidens of so many years ago did not get that sort of attention and was appreciative of any relief between the cracks. Each one burned through her and left her gasping. The tears were genuine and she was whimpering after the next 10. This did not stop him and she was glad. He gave her the out to cry as he always did; telling her that she was his and he would do as he pleased and she would have no say. He told her the tears were good and belonged to both of them. As the razor burn grew across her back and the tears fell, she simply became more and more turned on. Moments like this conflicted her. Her arms and legs were sore from struggling and squirming as the whip fell on her burning back. When it seemed she could take no more, he was done. When he ran his hands from her shoulders, down her back over her bottom and legs and back up, it jolted her. He spent quite a lot of time rubbing the skin meticulously getting every inch, reminding her that this was a good girl whipping and not punishment, that she was to enjoy it all!!!
It was only a few seconds since he moved away that he said the words she so dreaded and yearned to hear at that same time. He would give her 60 with the cane. There would be a break between each 10 and he would switch sides on the count of 30. He would expect her to have an orgasm after the last blow. It meant everything to her when he let her know what was coming before he did it. It gave her a certain amount of comfort. This was no exception. Her head dropped to the pillow in defeat of what she knew was coming. What she wanted in the worst way and what she feared just as much. Sixty was a very large number. She realized now what he meant by marking her. The thrill of it sent a shiver down her. She could feel herself tense up as she pulled at her ropes, wrapping her fingers around them for any sort of support, waiting. The first came down with no apology whatsoever hard and fast. She struggled for breath and yelped, realizing this was only number 1. She was going to have to find a place to move her thoughts to take them away from the severity of it all. The strangest part of all this was that she loved the cane. She had only recently realized it. She did not know why and could not figure it out at all. Often times when she fantasized it was of her restrained and being caned. She came the quickest to this vision. She often believed it was the intensity of it all that brought her to the orgasm and the vision of his hand holding it and applying it. The second and third came down and pulled her thoughts back. By God it sent a chill up and down her entire body in twos. Often like a delayed reaction. The burn would send a chill down her legs and just as it would melt away a sudden burst would shoot up her back. He finished 10 and gently massaged her telling her what a good job she was doing. She knew the tears were coming again but held them back. She felt very small when he caned her. Very much like a little girl sometimes. She never understood if it was the tears that did it or the gentleness of his voice and the comforting that came with it. The next 10 began and with it a sudden stab of stinging pain across her right cheek…immediately followed by an identical flash and then still another. Once again the smarting grew to a burning heat and then a blazing fire, as the cane continued to fall with unerring accuracy. He was skilled at this and she thanked God that he was. She knew the damage that the cane could cause and that alone caused her great excitement. Knowing he would never truly injure her, but would make sure she felt it for days caused her to squirm under him more. Sitting was not going to be her friend today for sure. “Whack” and the tears fell hard running her mascara down and over her pillow. He had since moved to the other side of the bed and was continuing her caning.
She had seen pictures of women in the many sites she researched and used to be envious of their tear streaked faces and red striped bottoms. Now she was part of that club. She had lost count when he told her that she would count the last 10 by saying “Another Master and harder please”. He had to be kidding, but she knew he wasn’t. She loved the challenge of having to repeat and beg him but at the same time was unsure that this was an appropriate request given her tears and the pain she was in. Of course as quickly as this thought came to her she dismissed it as the dumbest thing she could do, questioning his demand. She opted to do exactly as he said and began as the first strike came down. As quickly as it came out of her mouth the next one fell and this time the words came out a bit slower as she tried to move the chill through her and talk at the same time. This was hard. The next hit and she said the dreaded words, and each time she told him harder she believed he was doing just that. By the 6th slice she was barely chocking the words out for him, and they came between gasps and tears and she wanted to beg him to stop. But the only words that came out were those he demanded of her. Something strange began to happen as the cane continued to drop on her ripened bottom, and she continued to recite those dreaded words…she was starting to go. She could feel an orgasm raging through her. She struggled to keep from losing it before he was done and on the last swat and the hardest one so far, she could feel it cramping her. He had made her wait and the waiting was going to make this excruciating in the most delectable of ways. She had never had an orgasm that hurt. His hands were on her the minute he pulled the cane away. His fingers finding her spot and sending her off the charts. She squirmed against the cuffs, the ropes and his hands. She was cramping and she suddenly realized what he had meant many weeks prior when he told her that orgasm control could be torturous as well. She nodded but did not believe him for one minute. She wanted to cum so badly and her belly cramped beyond anything she remembered and when he pulled his hand from her pussy she felt the warmth spread over him and the sheets, and it was like a river. It did not stop until the wetness was well below her knees and had spread to either side of her. This was big. Massive. He rubbed her back and legs and arms, shoulders and bottom. Telling her how good she had done. She was totally worn-out. She smiled as he asked her if he could join her on the bed. Still stretched spread eagle and tied tightly he crawled up next to her. He told her that she had a choice. He would give her 10 minutes or more with the flogger or she could have him next to her. She took no more than a second to answer that. She wanted him there with her. There was a certain amount of humility being tied so as not to be able to touch him, while he ran his hands up and down her, lightly kissing her shoulders and back over and over. His hands tracing the many welts and stripes of the time together today. She couldn’t wait to look at them in her mirror.
As he lay next to her she began to tell him of her friend she had met at the last play party he had allowed her to attend. He had already asked her to play and she had said “no” immediately. She told him of her Master and that she could and would not play with others. He said he was fine with it. When he contacted her the last week or so he told her he had found someone to participate with. He asked her if he could come over on Saturday of that week and see her things that she had and talk about how he could start and check out the sites that she frequented on the computer for research. His excitement reminded her of herself when she had first met her Master and so she wanted to be that friend for him. The one who shared with him and the one he could talk too.
While she reiterated this story to him his hands had continued to caress her and he was running his fingers over her skin and was still lightly kissing her here and there on her back and shoulders. She wasn’t sure when it started but even though his hands were not at her pussy, his touch was causing her to become very aroused. She knew she would cum again and only from his touch. This was new!!! His hand was not in or on her pussy. It was simply stroking her. She mentioned that she might cum again. He told her that she had better ask, and she quickly did as she felt the flush of warmth spread over her and her belly began to contract. He put his hand right where she knew he would and began to stroke her clit, and she was gone again to that place he seemed to be able to send her more times than she could count each time he was there. The wetness under her grew again, and she worried that it would travel to him next to her and mentioned this. He told her not to concern herself with such things, and pushed two fingers into her as she felt the cramping start again and the orgasm ripped right through her. Could someone die from to many orgasms she wondered and she felt her skin flush from the heat. He brought her down slowly with light massaging and caresses. “Merry Christmas” he whispered in her ear. What a Christmas present that had been she told him. It was not something she would soon forget.
When she was settled he got up and moved to her feet to start removing the restraints. He told her to lay still and not to move. She was not to get up. He began to give her rules regarding her new friend. She was NOT to show him any of her toys or things. She was NOT to play with him. If she wanted to she could call him when her friend came over and then when her friend left. It made her feel very cared for that he was concerned for her. He was like a parent conferring with a child. She adored it. She had not told him she intended to show this new friend everything she had, even considering giving him some old cheap cuffs that were in her box. She realized now that this would no longer be the case and could not understand his insistence on this, but knew him well enough not to question it. How did he know she wondered? He finished pulling the ropes apart and away from her and headed into the bathroom to clean up after telling her to stay still until he returned.
When he came back into the room he ran his hands over her lines and welts. Commenting on how wonderful it looked. She asked him if he liked how it looked and his delight was all she needed. It made her glow from the inside out for him to be pleased. He reiterated to her that she had done very well. She was proud of herself with the caning. She was already looking forward to his next visit and more of it. He told her he couldn’t wait to see her chapter on their morning together. As he walked out the door she again thanked her lucky stars for finding him. She knew just from researching online and talking to people at parties that good Dom’s were hard to come by. Those that were true to the life and themselves and their partners as well. Those that were honest and had any integrity hardly existed anymore she had been told over and over. She smiled when she looked in the mirror at the canvas of red welt, stripes and bruising on her bottom and back. Oh they existed she told herself. He had left only a few moments ago.

Rambling

2008-04-27T21:45:00.001-07:00

Sometimes we pretend because we don't know what else to do. Sometimes we pretend because it protects us from what can hurt the most. Sometimes we pretend because we just aren't ready to let go. Pretend - Protect. How does one know the difference, if there is one?

"Tag your it"...

2008-04-23T06:37:00.000-07:00

OK this is for Lucy. I never usually do these, but this one was quite fun. I am not all that good with adding links so forgive me for not tagging or send me instructions on how to do it..lol.

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:

1. You must include this link to Sex Talk - Sex Advice for Men.

2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.

3. You must tag three people. I have a problem with this because it took me two hours just to put Lucy's link on my webpage..so I don't know how to tag...."HELP".... :(

1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
Oh good gosh..don't make me chose a time or part of the day...ANYTIME!!!!! If I had to chose...maybe night...or early morning when the sky is dark and the room is cool and I feel a hand snake over to grab my hair and pull my face down to that sweet spot I love so.

2. Better Sex Music - Sade or Marvin Gaye?
Marvin Gaye. Who is Sade....did I age myself here...who is that. Love Marvin Gayes voice..

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?
Are they of me? If they are of me, please let's spare everyone. If they are of others..oh I'm good with both.

4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House?
I have my own Dr. please. Don't need those above. I'll chose mine thanks... :) Besides he will be reading this. Do I really want to pick another..."ouch"

5. Vibrator or Dildo?
My very favorite toy is a silver bullet. It's vibrate heaven. YUM!!

6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?
Lights off please. Dark, ominous, meanacing.......I love it dark for sex, or just beginning to get light in the room.

7. Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt?
I love pussy. I'm not fond of cunt, but to be honest "R" has said it a few times and it does make my toes curl in a nice way.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?
I agree with Lucy...anywhere he wants. I love it over the bed, over the horse, on the cross, over his knee..absolutely anywhere. Infact I'm in need of one..."R" if your reading this...hint hint....

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane?
Neither thanks. I did the mile high club and was not impressed with it. Elevator..well I could try it I guess. How about a cemetary or the woods or .... well I could just go on.

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?
Prefer older men who know what they are doing..so it would be Ron Jeremy, besides he is quite the bad boy and thats what I like. And like Lucy I prefer the big ones.

11. Word Preference? Cock or dick?
Oh I love love love the word cock. My girlfriend calls "R" Dr. Dick and I like that too. LOL. But cock wins hands down and actually mouth open. lol.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?
Linda has done animals. Interesting. I didn't know that. I'd love to pick her brain on that one.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?
I love rope and this is why. There is nothing more erotic to then watching "R" move from one part of me to the other running his beloved (sometimes dyed) ropes around me and into my restraints or around my breasts. Sometimes tightening them until I wince or give him the ouch look, and he gets that sinister smile. He is so intense, so focused. I become just "it" to be used and played with. It's almost as if I am not there at all sometimes and that just makes me drip.

14. Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?
This is a tough one. I have just begun with anal sex and I love the animalistic feel of it, the "taking" of me, if you will. But my submissive side wants to please him and keep him happy and he LOVES a good rim job. And I LOVE the way he reacts and loses himself to it. In fact now that I think of it...I owe him a nice long one. I promised him one two weeks ago and some how it never happened. I need to rectify that quickly.

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?
Call girl (woman thank you) for celebs.

16. Which Threesome - Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?
For "R" one day I would like to do the G/G/B. I would enjoy watching another woman suck him and please him. I am not bi so interaction with her would not be something I would want. But if forced of course I would. I have done the B/B/G interaction and it is one of the highlights of my sexual exploration. I LOVED it. However it did take me two days to rest up after it. lol

17. Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil?
Neither thanks,,I love the smell and taste of "R". I don't need any oil. I also love the taste of myself and "R" together. Sucking him after I have ridden him a bit. Very tasty. We go very well together like cinn. and sugar.

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?
I want to swallow every drop of my Master. I love the feel of it in my throat and the taste of him for hours later. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I do enjoy it on my face on occasion. He allows me to decide where the cum will go and I like that he does that. It's a great conditioiner for the skin laides and will make your face baby soft for days if you rub it in and leave it for a bit.
ok thats my beauty tip for the day ladies..enjoy.

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?
Sex with a stranger. I have not even mentioned this ever to anyone, but the idea of being "forced" to have sex with someone else while either tied or restrained. Blindfolded etc just sounds so erotic.

20. Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew’s Cross?
I actually love being strung across a bed face down. It's so erotic. It was one of my first real D/s encounters with "R". I will have to check to be sure I blogged on that experience. However the cross is very intimidating and very erotic as well. And I rather love that too. But for me..my favorite is the spanking bench he made for me. So many things he can do to me on that and I can last much longer. The cross I get tired quicker.

Boston

2008-04-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Off to Boston we go for Passover. Family, friends and fun all in the near future of the next few days. We both need it and look forward to it. "R" has been cooking for days and I of course have been packing. We will be back on Monday so we wish everyone a lovely weekend. Rose

Joke

2008-04-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

Bill and Ted were at a poker game that had run late - past 3 a.m.

Bill says, “You know what I hate about these games? When I go home, I turn off my headlights, shut off the engine, and coast into the driveway. Then I go to the front door, take off my shoes and sneak in as quietly as I can. But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight.”

Ted replied “You’re going about it the wrong way. What I do instead is drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, go in the house and bang the door open. Then I yell ‘Honey, I’m home’, run upstairs, slap her on the ass and say, ‘Hey, how’s about a little lovin’, woman?’ She never even rolls over.”

"No"

2008-04-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

I can wear them again....!!!! Finally I am healed enough to have the dreaded "clamps". This was discovered just the other day (one of our very early morning fucks)when I made the mistake of saying "no" as "R" pulled one of my piercings into his mouth and began to bite down just a bit. I'm sure "ouch" would have been fine or even "wtf"...would have even sufficed...but I of course said "no"....and just as the words came out of my mouth I wanted to take them back. He let go for just a split second and asked me.."did you say no". My first response was to say "no" again and I did. So now I had a "no" and a "no" which included a lie. So being the intelligent sub I am I took it back in the way of a "I didn't really mean no". LAME of course and he sure wasn't buying it. He went back to knawing on my poor little nips as I rode him to oblivion and when we were done and snuggling warm and close he asked me what he should do about that "no". I answered with a pathetic "punishment". He agreed and mentioned that he would have to consider what it would be. Later that morning while he sat at his computer in his office and I decided I needed just a few minutes alone with his cock I ran my hand inside his robe and began to stroke whereupon he asked me if there was something I would like. I was on my knees in a split second and sucking him sweetly into my mouth. Gotta love a cock that just rises to the occasion. He was soon behind me as I grabbed onto the office chair with him hammering hard into me. A few seconds later while I was back on my knees pleasuring him he suddenly got up and said he would be right back. Up the stairs he went and I pulled my satin chemise back over my shoulders as it had dropped down to my ankles in play. Back down he came with the dreaded clovers. These particular ones have the chain that attached them together. I was scolded for pulling my nightgown back up and he sat down in the chair. I quickly pulled the gown over my head and threw it to the side knowing it was only going to get in the way and could create more issues for me. I looked up at him and knew immediatly with the grin he gave me that these were going on. And on they went a bit more quick than I was ready for. The pinch ran right from my nip to my toes and back up again. I had forgotten the amount of pressure these presented. He wasn't done. The chain was then moved to my collar and attached. If I moved my head in the least bit i was pulling up on the clovers and anyone who knows these devious little terrors knows they tighten up when pulled. I was told to suck him and I did. Each movement causing the burn to shoot back down and up. I was beginning to drip now. I will never understand the power of pain on my pussy. "R" got off the chair and bent me face down over it again and entered me hard and fast. Each time he thrust forward the chains brushed the chair under me. I was trying to push back to him in hope that it would keep me farther away from the chair, but he figured out my strategy and countered me with harder thrusts causing the chair to slide and me to hold onto it forcing my breasts down onto the seat. I think I growled because he asked me if it hurt. "Yes" I shouted to him trying to keep up with his thrusts and my breasts. "Good" was my answer from him and then he asked me where I would like his cum. Sweet words to my ears. His hands rested on the small of my back and I heard that soft low moan he does. "R" must have felt sorry for me because he came around the front of my poor aching boobies and carefully opened the clamps and took them off. After I stopped seeing the stars and fireworks...and was able to breath again, I promised him to watch the "no's". He grinned and reminded me that "no" is not a word in my vocabulary. I'd have to agree........ :)

I also want to take a little second to thank my wonderful "R" for taking such good care of me while I was sick. Fresh home made chicken soup and lots of rest next to my loving caring Dominant brought me back to myself.

"R" Validates

2008-04-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

"R" did something today that validated many things for me. It was something I may have indirectly pushed, but he did it just the same. I won't say what it is, and I won't say why it validates. I sometimes used to think that he did not understand how strongly he affected me, how much I care and love him, or the intensity of what we have together. I realize now he does even if he does not say so. We have had some rough moments these last few months. I have doubted him and with that doubt came fear and insecurities. I seriously considered asking for my release as his sub and moving ahead with my life without him. Until earlier today I was convinced that I would not be able to over come these thoughts and feelings no matter how hard I tried. I could blame him sure. But I had to look within as well.

He did just one small thing today. It did not cost him any money. It was not difficult and it did not take him but a few seconds. There is finally closure to the darkness that has been sucking the life right out of me...I can move ahead finally. I am no longer trapped in my own prison of doubt, insecurities and questions. "R" has released me from that and I can only say thank you. How I will do that will be between "R" and myself. Happy Dreams all!!!!

Barbells.....

2008-04-07T22:50:00.001-07:00

My apologies for the terrible pic. I'm hoping it looks better in the blog then it does here as I'm typing. I will add the notes to the insertion tomorrow hopefully. It's late and I'm headed to bed. All I will say is that they are far more comfy than the rings and the healing is really moving fast now. I think it's due to less movement with the barbells. So many great things we will be able to do with them. One can only imagine...I will be back tomorrow to add more. Or at least in the next few days.

Early Morning

2008-04-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

"R" leaves for work early. Well for me it's early. You see I work eves so I usually crawl in between 12:30 and 1am. Last night I got in earlier as I got out a bit before normal. His body was warm and the bed inviting when I crawled in under the sheet and slowly pulled the feather comforter up around me. He rolled over and his hand slipped over my tummy and I could feel him breathing softly in my ear. He was sound asleep. I struggle with this sometimes because I know he likes me to wake him up in that oh so nice way. Lately I have not been doing it as much and it's because I have trouble waking him up when he is off to his dreams. Last night I loved his hand there, laying sweetly on my belly and I placed my hand on his and was asleep in a matter of minutes. I slept so sound all night. I think I woke once to go tinkle as I put it..but that was it. And as I crawled back into the softness and warmth of the bed his breathing was sweet with a little bitty snore at the end of each breath and I knew he had not woken. I love when I can get up and come back and not wake him because he is a terribly light sleeper. Again I was off to my world of quiet nothing. It must have been 8am when I felt him near the bed leaning into it. I had not even heard him rise. As I opened my eyes I felt his lips lightly kiss me, once, twice, three times and I reached up to kiss him back. He was so handsome in the soft light of morning, in that (so loved as you know) starched shirt. His hair still damp from the shower. He had come up to say goodbye for the day. Walking around the bed, covering me up and adjusting my blankets and sheets, telling me to go to the pool today and enjoy my time off. I was in a haze of half sleep drunken love for this man who could make me feel like a small secure safe little girl. As he left the room I fell back into my bliss quickly.

8:15 and I hear something downstairs. What could it be I wonder. Has he come back. I listen. Footsteps. More then one. OMG "R" left the door unlocked again and someone has broken in. Well walked in more like it. The footsteps were small and light and fast. This was not normal. And then.......after what seemed like hours......scared out of my wits......I HEAR IT......

GRAMMIE.............GRAMMIE.....I HERE.......

My son had come in the back door with my twin 19 month old grandchildren who were quickly scurrying up the stairs to see their Gramma. Around the corner comes a bright blur of pink fluff...with a darker blue behind her. Boy and Girl. Night and Day. All mine. Crawling up in the bed with me to say hi and hug and kiss me. They had come to "abduct" me my son said. so off to the museum we went, then to lunch and now here I am reliving each moment of my wonderful morning.

Some days I just feel so blessed and so loved. It seems as if it can't get to much better than this...

Happy Weekend to you all!!!!

Restraints-April 2nd

2008-04-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

There is little that I love more than my custom made soft leather cuffs. Black with red trim I have the ankle, wrist and thigh matching set. “R” ordered me the collar some months ago and it matches the other pieces as well. Gorgeous with leather that feels like butter it’s so soft. Two Celtic knots adorn the collar and as soon as I can I will get a picture of it (on me) to show everyone.
It quite amazes me how I slip into submission with the first touch of the restraints. They ground me and move me to where my mind becomes whatever he needs me to be at that moment. I am very careful to keep my toes a pretty crimson red as well as my nails. “R” loves red and it’s for him that I do it.

It’s late and I’m off to bed. It’s been a very busy week with limited time with “R”. I look forward to our weekend!!!
Sleep well everyone!!!!

For "R"

2008-04-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

Just a little pic for "R". My necklace that he gave me for Christmas nestled in a favorite spot for him. I am headed off to bed. Busy day, but productive. Good night to all......

Friday March 28, 2008-

2008-03-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

A great day of running around picking up his shirts, dropping off his shirts (have I menitoned how I love freshly starched shirts tucked into a pair of jeans or khakis) picking up groceries for dinner and just general cleaning with the music blasting and the sun shining outside. Once
"R" got home from work we chatted and talked about our weeks at work and how beautiful the garden would be this summer and what we would grow and how much my friends will laugh when they find out I'm outside digging up dirt to plant things. As "R" poured my wine and his scotch I relished in the idea that on no one outside of our world could ever imagine the things we do in the darkness and naughtiness of ours. We are so normal and so grounded yet we are what "R" calls "left of center", a phrase I have grown to love and understand. I made some deviled eggs and we watched a cooking show, debating who would win the "Top Chef" of the day. "R" was right and I cheated because I watched it earlier. I was headed into the kitchen and he was headed out when he blocked the door standing directily infront of me. I looked up into the robin blue eyes of his and knew immediatly he had something on his mind. As his hands snaked under my shirt pulling it up he began to smile that "you are in for it" smile and I could feel my nipples immediatly get hard as the coolness of his fingertips pinched them. He examines my breasts sometimes, running his hands softly over them and lifting them up to massage them and pinch the tips. He LOVES them and I love that he does. From his right I see him reach over and bring back what looks like a dog collar. I thought it strange as I was wearing my black celtic leather one. But the band (collar) was placed at the bottom of my left breast and he brought it up around the top and threaded it togther through the buckle. As he pulled it still tigher I saw that he had placed his own holes in the collar so that he could adjust it to tight, tighter or tighter still. OUCH!!! When I told him I thought maybe it could not be any tighter he only chuckled and pulled just enough more to buckle it. He did the same to the other side. My breasts were lovely wrapped in red. I thought they would slide off but that was quite obviously not going to happen. But of course "R" was not done. He wanted them closer together. He took what I would call those plastic handcuffs that the police use when they don't have the metal ones. Its a thin piece of plastic that threads together and can't be undone unless it's cut off. He slid this through the buckles of each collar on each breast and pulled them close together. The sensation was wonderful and they looked beautiful like that. But still "R" had other ideas. He reached around and on the counter he pulled out what looked like fishing tackle. Small metal strips that hold weights. He attached one to each nipple ring and then attached them to each other. Movement was interesting to say the least. I prayed he would not attach weights given the restrictions i was already in and he didn't thank goodness. But the nipples attached to one another was plenty intense enough to keep me squirming for the next hour that he had me keep his torment on. We had a lovely dinner watched tv and crawled all warm and snuggly into bed with each other. Sometimes torment comes in the form of a warm bottom, other times in the form of tender nips and sensitive breasts. Any way it comes I enjoy it and it's attentions. I slept sound curled up next to the warmth of his body......................

My Piercings-March 26, 2008

2008-03-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

I have had my right nipple pierced since September http://journeyofrose.blogspot.com/2007/10/piercing.html. Hanging from the attic rafters on a warm day in September he ran the sharp needle and his Dominance through me in one swipe. He had given me the choice of both or one that day. I chose just the one and he moved to the other nipple in December while I was tied spread eagle to a chair with my arms attached up and over my head to the back of my collar. (I had requested that any body modifications he does to me that I be bound tightly and he had no problem doing this for me of course) The piercings are healing nicely, but what I have discovered is the sensitivity of them is sometimes overwhelming. “R” likes breast torture and nipple pain (quite obviously thats something I adore as well). He loves to make me jump and beg as he tweaks them, pulls and pinches them. He waited several months before binding them again and it was the longest few months I have lived I think. I love the restrictiveness of the ropes on my body. An extension of “R” and his beloved ropes and his control of me. There is little that gives me more pleasure. But the sensitivity was much more than I bargained for. I worry that I will disappoint him as I know that the weights will be less as I will not be able to take anything to heavy. While he fucked me this past weekend and reached around to pull my breasts and pinch my nipples I kept screaming “no please”…I meant it but I didn’t. It’s hard to explain. The pain is almost intolerable to have them pulled and prodded, yet its part of who we are and after all they do belong to him with the rest of me. He is my "Owner". I am here for his service and his fun and his tortures. I just wish they would heal faster. I am told it takes a year. He plans to modify my labia’s next. I certainly hope those heal faster. The thought of weights hanging from between my legs just makes me drip. He threatens that he will put me under padlock and key once they heal. Oh My!!! Happy Sigh.

Beloved Hook-March 26, 2008

2008-03-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

The Beloved Hook

Now Imagine this ball sliding inside of you and resting there as it is pulled and pushed to the specifications of the one who controls you. YOW...........it takes a few minutes for your body to catch up to the pain in your bottom as it adjusts to the size of it. Very uncomfortable and very erotic. The top part can be tied to a collar (as "R" did) or the ceiling, or whatever the creative mind can come up with. I'm thinking this one has endless possibilities. In response to a note I sent "R" regarding a picture of some of the things we use and that I was missing my floggings, he responded with:

"R"-Your floggings will be more and more frequent, now that the weather is breaking. With the attic area becoming a little warmer, you'll be hanging around a lot more which will expose your wonderful body to me. I also will be setting the bondage pole up more often and I can only imagine your lovely exposed body tormented by all it's wonderful versitality- those legs spread wide with one of the poles sitting "gently" in the right place and your tits bound and tied to a distant location- a lovely sight.

Such a poet is he.................I am so hungry for him right now....

Changes!!

2008-03-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

I can feel changes happening within me...so I thought it was time to change my blog. Forgive me the next few weeks as I try different templates. If you see one you really like, let me know. I'll be bouncing around with different ideas and colors. I'm really a pink girl so you may see more of that color. Good day to all!!!!

"R's" Creations-March 25, 2008

2008-03-25T07:52:00.001-07:00

Pussy Pony

Imagine your legs attached to a spreader bar as you sit "gently" on the pussy bar. "Gently" slowly becomes uncomfortable as you rise up on your toes to relieve the pressure. My calves become very tired and ache and my pussy is usually on fire by the time he takes me off. If you look closely you can see that he has bolts on the top part so that if he wants he can move the pussy bar up. NOT FUN "R"!!! Often times he will have my breasts bound and clamped (sometimes clothespins..ouch)with my hands tied behind my back or infront of me. The cane has been used on me with this "toy" of his or the flogger. There is no where to go and no relief until he says there is. Very restrictive.

Very Exposed

Spanking Bench

Many an hour have been played on this item. It is my favorite. The item I love and hate!!!!!Perhaps for the comfort of it as he padded it for me and made it to fit me and the pain he causes with my exposed bottom. Sometimes I am sitting up with my legs on either side while he pierced me or binds my breasts, and other times laying face down on it while I am used as he wishes. There have been times he will attache my cuffs to the legs with tight ropes. He likes my large breasts to be on either side of the middle support so that he can torture them with weights/canes/floggers. This was a great piece of furniture for our newest toy "The Hook". This piece can be "Mentally Restrictive" if he does not have me bound to it. When I am bound to it, there is very little movement. I would say one of the "Most Restrictive" he uses me on. Aside from the St Andrews Cross.
Uncomfortably Exposed depending on how he places me, and normally everything is open to him.

Pictures

2008-03-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

I've asked "R" for some pictures of the wonderful things he has built for us to use. I should be able to have them in the coming days. His work is second to none and quite creative. Should anyone be interested in purchasing just let me know. His items consist of: My spanking bench, yum, my pussy pony, double yum....the POLE...you be the judge..lol. St Andrews cross that has so many memories, stocks, vices, paddles and assorted other items. And lets not forget the lovely padded horses he has constucted. All fun. I'll keep you posted.

Delicious thoughts!!!!

2008-03-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

How utterly delicious is this I ask?

Ouch!!!!!

March 22, 2008-A First-THE ANAL HOOK

2008-03-23T20:35:00.000-07:00

March 22, 2008

The rubber bands were beginning to pinch and she could only smile. The wine was sweet and the Artichokes French were divine, but more than anything her time with him felt endless. As they sipped on their drinks and chatted with the waitress and each other, she could only think of what was to happen in only a few hours. As they left for the restaurant rhat eve, he had placed several tight thick rubber bands at the base of each breast. He slid her breasts back into her lacy bra and smiled at her, knowing she would feel it all through dinner. And feel it she did. The sensation started as a slight throb and eventually tingling and by now the tips of her nipples were highly sensitive. Each time she bent over the table to reach for something her nipples would send a sharp bite through her body. She might as well have been hooked up to electricity. She knew not to complain or ask to remove them. She would not disappoint him and wasn’t quite sure what the repercussions would be should she take them off.
Once home she was ordered upstairs and told to strip and put on her collar. He followed her up a few seconds later and she immediately saw the change in his demeanor and his eyes. He was complete in determination and focus. He found the O ring of her collar, put his finger threw it and pulled her toward the guest room. The bands had really begun to dig into her flesh and she adored the red lines that she knew would be there for days to come. He ordered her up on her beloved spanking bench and the coolness of the padded leather registered quickly to the warmth of her body. She could feel the goose bumps. He pulled the rubber bands off and had her sit up on the bench. As quickly as she could breathe a sigh of relief for the blood rushing back in, he began to drape the soft blue rope around the base of each globe. He pulled them tight. Tight enough to cause her to gasp and tight enough that he could leave them on for quite some time. These hurt, but she was enjoying every second of his attentions. He told her to lie down and make sure that each breast lay on opposite sides of the comfy padded board. She positioned herself as she knew he would want her and just as she expected he reached down and tweaked her nipples. She was in agony. It felt like a hot poker was being pressed into her pink nips. Her piercings were getting quite a workout tonight. She yelped and he walked around behind her. His hands were as hard as she remembered. Coming down across her cool bottom and leaving his finger marks behind. Just as she thought she would have to beg for a break, he slid his hand inside her pussy and she could feel the gushing begin and begged immediately to cum instead. He surprised her when he said “yes”. The orgasm took her quickly and she was shocked at the strength of it and the gushing that came with it. Before she could catch her breath she could feel his hands coming down once again hard and fast. Her breasts were on fire when he walked away for a moment. When she looked around she could not see where he had gone but knew he had something in his hands. She wanted to sit up but knew better than to attempt it. Punishment would be harsh she was sure of it.
Suddenly he was in front of her. His hot and very hard cock springing forward and just beyond her lips. He asked her if she wanted it. She leaned forward carefully with the pain of her breasts fully causing her to wince and moan. He backed up a bit. She knew this game and hated it..but wanted what lay just within inches of her. Her mouth literally watered for his cock and she finally managed to inch far enough forward to pull it gratefully into the warmth and softeness of her hungry lips. She was excited that he had not made her chose swats with the cane or the leather strap for a chance to suck him. He had done it in the past and it was torment because he knew she would choose a beating for his cock if she had too.
As quickly as he was there and she had sucked him into her, he was gone. She signed sadly and waited for what would cum next.

He placed something cold against her most private area. Pushing it just a bit, before she felt the chill of the lube sliding down the crack of her bottom and once again the force of something icy being pushed into her. She groaned, but did not move forward and relaxed herself as best she could. This would be going in whether she wanted it to or not, so best to work with it than against it. He had not bound her and sometimes this was harder for her. It was mental bondage, she knew it. She moaned and squirmed and groaned as it popped into place. She knew immediately what it was.

Suddenly things were beginning to fall into place. This was all reminiscent of a recent post she had put in. A post of fantasy and sadness. He was giving her the fantasy but on his terms. She hoped that she was ready as she knew the rope being wrapped around the end of the anal hook would now be run threw her collar. He did not disappoint and infact had the hook so tight there was little movement allowed with her neck or shoulders. She took a deep breath. The ball inside of her moved each time she tried to pull her head down even just a fraction. The intensity was amazing. At one point he expressed to her that in the basement/dungeon he would put in an eyebolt and run still another string down from the ceiling and under the rope that ran down her back to pull it up and give her even less room to move. He gave her a demonstration, pulling up the slack in the bind that ran down her back and she knew at that moment that anything he wanted of her she would give him. He had no idea what a predicament bondage that would be. Or did he? She learned long ago never to second guess him.
He was behind her and she felt his cock at the entrance of her pussy. He asked her if she wanted him to fuck her. At this point in time she would have easily begged, but didn’t have to as he plunged into her. The ball in her ass moved with him and there were no words to describe the sensation. It was painful, wonderful, strict and orgasmic. She kept her head up so as not to pull the hook. His thrusts were deep and hard and she groaned with each one. When he pulled his large cock out of her she felt suddenly empty.
It was only a few seconds before his hands began to come down hot and hard and furious. It hurt. She could already feel the heat coming from her. Her breasts were aching; her bottom on fire and the hook felt like it was ripping her in two. He stepped away and told her to get off the bench and on her knees. She was to suck him. She carefully crawled down and quickly got on her knees for him. The hook was fine if she did not put her head down to much, however there was a new problem. If she put her head up to protect her ass, her collar bit in to her throat and constricted her breathing. She had to make a choice. She chose her bottom and sucked him with her head up a bit higher. It was hard for her to breath but not impossible. She liked how her collar pulled her throat tight. Enjoyed the control he had of her. It wasn’t long before he had her back up on the bench and out came the cane. She heard it swish through the air and held her breath. The tap tap tapping began. He always started slow with her. But this time the tapping became harder faster. He was testing her and she knew it. She felt the cane hit her left breast and gasped and cried out. He continued and she held her breath trying not to move. She felt him pushing the hook deeper still into her bottom. The moans could not be mistaken. She hated it and she loved it. She was so violated. The cane began to come down harder and faster. She was crying out with each one. In her little mind she was trying to think of ways out with negotiation. In a meek voice she told him he could fuck her ass if he liked. He chuckled at her, telling her he could do that if he wanted to anyway. Then he asked her if she wanted him too as the cane came down one after the other. This was difficult for her to say to begin with and now he wanted confirmation that she “wanted” him to fuck her ass. “Yes”, she shouted in desperation, “I want you to fuck my ass please”. He came around to the front of her and leaned down. “I suppose you think that if I fuck your ass right now that you won’t get the cane again tonight will you”. She couldn’t believe that she was that transparent. She squeaked out a small “yes Sir”. Before she knew what happened he had pulled the ball from her bottom and had her face down over the bed. He placed his cock and slammed himself in fully. She went breathless. He was not gentle. She didn’t want him to be. He was not slow. She didn’t want him to be. She just wanted his hard cock in her. She begged for release and he granted it as he pushed himself in deeper still. He pulled out and ordered her into the bedroom where she would be sucking him dry for the evening. As she waited for him, lying on her belly, listening to him wash up for her she felt happy and complete again for the first time in awhile. And when she lay down next to him and snuggled in for the night she was content with the day and delighted with all that came with it. She was going day by day and she knew this one would be a favorite.

I'm worth...

2008-03-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

Found this on "Lucy's Place"...great fun to do. Thanks Lucy. I scored quite well.....lol.

Tears

2008-03-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

March 19, 2007
The room had the sweet smell of summer haze lingering over and around her. He had placed her strategically and left her in the quiet of her own insecurities. She wasn’t sure how long he had been gone and could not see when he may or may not have slipped by her due to the dark blindfold covering her eyes. She thought she felt him a few times. Was pretty sure she could hear him breathing. She laid belly down on the main board of the spanking bench. A favorite piece of furniture that she adored from the first time he put her on it. Each breast tied tightly around the bottoms with a lovely blue rope were tender to the touch and a beautiful shade of pink. Her “close to healed” rings upon her nipples were adorned with light weights that he had made especially for her with tiny bells that jingled each time she moved. The throbbing of them both delighted her and left her very close to the edge. Each time she shifted or squirmed in the least bit was complete torment with the weights dancing and pulling. Her cuffed wrists were held fast on either side of her to the bottom of the bench somewhere. He had blindfolded her before he attached and bound her so she had no idea where he had placed the ropes and pulled them fast. She only knew they were tight. Her ankles were fastened snuggly to a long spreader bar and her ass hung just far enough off the bench for his use and torment. Her collar had been pulled tight and the rope slid down her back and attached to the newest element of torment. He had taken his time sliding the ball of the anal hook into her bottom as she squirmed and squealed. She had often spoken of them and seen them in magazines and in videos. She was delighted when he showed it to her and unsure of what she was thinking when he attached the rope to it and pulled it tight through her collar. When she tried to put her head down the intensity of the object in her ass would cause her throw her head back up and strait. She was not totally uncomfortable for the moment, but time would cause her to become anxious and edgy and he knew it. He had placed a cane in her mouth to be held until he needed it. A gag of sorts she thought and knew better than to drop it. He had warned her of the repercussions of such an act. 50 swats. She knew he meant it. As the afternoon dragged on she listened for him. His breathing. The smell of him walking by. She waited for the touch of his hands running over her, tweaking her nipples, pulling her hair. He did not come. She grew tired and listened to the cars outside driving by so far away wondering where they were going and what they might be doing. She dreamed of his cock, shoved deep down her throat. His hands in her hair pulling her to his groin and chocking her. She was getting tired. Afraid. She was sure it had been a long time, sure that her breasts must be blue by this time and the numbness had begun to set in her wrists and arms. As the minutes slowly dripped by she dropped the cane. Did it intentionally, in hopes of luring him back to her. She would take the beating. She just wanted to be unbound and in his arms.

She heard a slight buzzing near her ear. It startled her but she felt so heavy and the room seemed so dark it was hard to focus at all. The cell phone was indicating a text message was coming through as it vibrated across her dresser. She opened her eyes and saw the clock read 4am. She didn’t remember falling asleep. It had been hard to do that the last few weeks. So much sadness in her heart. She remembered her dream and rolled over sliding her face down in to the pillows. Her cheek hit the moistness and she realized she had been crying. Tears washing away her emptiness and her sadness from the prior weeks and days. Tears helping her cope with the deceits and the lies, cleansing away her insecurities and inability to do what she knew was the right thing. She could feel herself begin to slide back ever so slowly into her dark abyss. Bound once again. Waiting once again. Wishing once again. And he was not there. One small drop slid down her cheek and she slept once more., growing stronger.

I'm BACK!!!

2008-02-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile since I blogged. My apologies. Things are good and just so busy. The holidays found us running from party to party and celebrating with family. After the first of the year we were off to his hometown of Boston twice for several days. Touring the city with him as my tour guide was amazing to say the least. He has pierced my other nipple and it is healing nicely. A bit of a scare when the metal detector went off at the USS Constitution. I looked at him with panic as I was sure it was the nipple rings. Turned out to be my jacket. Thank goodness..lol. Not that he did not enjoy watching me squirm. A few weeks ago he came up the stairs with a manila bag and a big smile on his face. "I ordered you a surprise" he expressed to me. I smiled, loving the way he thought of me all the time. Out of the bag he pulled an anal hook. I have often expressed interest in these. I never imagined he would buy one. I'm sure my smile broadened as I immediatly imagined the sort of things he could do with it. This particular hook as quite a knob at the end of it. Of course he would order one with a bit of a twist....something to make me wonder just what I got myself into. A few weeks later a whartenburg wheel arrived. With our traveling and busy schedules we have not found alot of time to play and I've not been wearing my leather collar around the house. I miss it terribly. I will be fixing that this week. For Christmas he gave me a gorgeous mystic topaz necklace. It reminds me of him everytime I touch it. I wear it every minute of the day and night. Never removing it. We will be really busy right up to Valentines Day. But then things will begin to slow down and go back to normal. I'm feeling very blessed right now and enjoying any time I have with him. I will be back again soon to add more as things slow down. Thanks all for your patience.

Time off

2007-12-09T22:11:00.000-08:00

I will be taking some time off from my blog for a bit. I'm unsure how long at this point. Holidays have me a bit frazzled and I have some things to re-evaluate. I wish everyone the best holidays of all, peace in your hearts, love in your life and happiness in your days and at least one soft snow fall in the next few weeks. ~Rose

Nipple Ring

2007-12-01T09:47:00.001-08:00

Healing nicely

2007-12-01T08:22:00.000-08:00

We had dozed off in the warmth of the living room after a busy day of running around and wonderful morning sex. Our dinner the night before was delightful in a favorite greek restaurant of ours. One he introduced me to only a few months prior. One thing about "R" is he knows where the best food comes from and lucky for me, knows how to prepare it as well. When he came over to my face and prompty unzipped his pants for my service as I lay on the couch, my mouth just opened automatically as I dripped immediatly. I know what I love and I love his cock. And as has been pointed out in the past and I often happily remind myself of, I am there to service and please him in any way he deems necessary. As he slid his hardness into my mouth his hands reached under my shirt and pulled my nipple up and out of my bra. I knew it was going to be a sweet early evening before we headed to our favorite Mexican restaurant. (Yes we do enjoy going out) When he allowed me too, I bounded up the steps to the bedroom and waited for him. As he entered the room he grabbed for the crop and cane that had fallen behind the dresser just a few days prior and smiled at me. It’s that smile of “guess what happens next”…in his oh sweet sadist way. You want me stripped I asked him and he nodded and quickly undressed himself. I was between his legs in a matter of seconds sucking down his wonderful throbbing cock and sliding my tongue and mouth down as far as I could go. Just a few nights before I had brought him to climax and swallowed him. This was a biggie for he and I because this is not the normal way he cums. To say that I was thrilled was putting it mildly. I could have jumped up right there and done the Pee Wee Herman Happy dance. But my mouth had trouble letting go and so I licked a bit more and laid my head on his thigh with a sigh. There is a connection you get when your Master allows you to drink him, to taste him to swallow. It was a moment for me. As I continued to suck him he asked if I would like to be fucked. He likes me to beg and more often than not I do that because he makes me wait. This was no exception. He was behind me in seconds as I leaned face down over the bed as he requested of me earlier. He entrance was hard and fast, ripping into my pussy with such heat I felt like I had been burned. His hands snaked around for my breast and he pulled me up and began to pull on my piercing. I whimpered, I cried out, and I relished every second. He asked me if I wanted him to yank my piercing and I was at a loss to answer. He does not like when I hesitate and he pulled hard to get my reaction. I quickly told him just what I felt…If it pleased him of course”. He sternly expressed to me that it did and he would whenever he wanted, and I answered “because I belonged to him and every part of me does as well”. The pounding was getting serious and each time he arched me with his hands pulling my breasts he would hit that special spot. It was not long before I was begging to cum. He denied it. Pounding still harder. I begged again, out of breath for the intensity he was taking me. I was still sore from the early morning fuck he had given me. “No” That damn dreaded word. I held back and begged and begged to please cum and finally when I was sure I would have to take the beating and just do it..he gave me permission and I could feel my toes rise up and the clenching begin and I gushed. This is good and bad because “R” likes to take this lovely liquid and rub it all over my bottom before he brings his hand down, stinging me and slapping while my bottom is wet. If you are a submissive and have had a damp bottom you know exactly what I am talking about. He warmed me up for the crop. “R” has become excellent with the crop and can give me multiple sensations with this little instrument. He has done the same with the cane. Tap, tap, tapping here and there is like little bee stings. Yesterday he did something different and I told him it felt like someone was biting me. He would focus on one area and tap tap tap in a way that made me feel like there were teeth gnawing at me. Very intense, and I could not decide if it felt wonderful or so different that the pain became secondary. This came of course before the full arm back swing. Always bringing me just to where I want to fall on the floor and beg him for relief. He stops. Back on the bed and back to my lovely sucking, more fucking and more crop and cane. It was a wonderful hour and a half of delight before we headed to the restaurant. We enjoyed our meal and I enjoyed my margaritas. Three I think it was at last count. To “R’s” delight I become very horney when I drink. On the way home if I could have crawled into his lap and fucked him there I would have, kissing his neck and licking his ear and telling him just how badly I wanted and needed him. I expressed to him that I wished I could take the cane better for him, and I wondered if he thought I could do better with a few drinks. He was stone cold sober or this thought would have never come out of my mouth and knowing him he would never had agreed to give me a good bottom beating. But I wanted it. I wanted the pain and the feel of the crop and cane. He said he would use the strap as well. Once home I ran up the stairs, stripped and leaned over the bed as he had ordered. It was only a few minutes later that he entered and lit a candle. There is something very sexual about candles. The shadows it casts as he walked to the closet and pulled out what he would use. The sensual colors that dance on the walls of the warm room. The softness of the down comforter under my breasts..the feel of his warm hands as they slid over my bottom preparing me for the next beating. Down came his hands over and over…massaging and then more slaps and taps. Some harder, then softer then the rubbing. I was euphoric. I needed this so much and he knew I did. He crop came out first and he began with the tapping that I love so much, slowly moving up in intensity to what I refer to as my whimper level..and quickly to the full swing that I cry out too. More massaging…more crop…massaging and crop. Hands hot and hard on my very warm bottom. He is pleased with his work thus far when the cane comes out. The sensation is intense and the pain no different. Yet I am able to hold my own much better. Down with a searing blow to my bottom and I yelp. He massages and does this over and over. Each time he massages and rubs I am able to handle more of what comes next. In between there are moments that he steps behind me and slides himself into my aching and sore pussy. He has been very sexually hungry and wanting of me this weekend. Taking me several times in the last few days has worn me out and made me tender, yet I hunger for him more each time. When the strap comes down on me the heat blazes across my bottom and hips. This is unreal to me and I almost beg for more and beg for him to stop at the same time. I am lost to what I want and feel yet very aware that I am in his hands to do as he desires with me. My trust allows him total control. He knows what I need and want and he delivers it meticulously with his hands, crops, canes and straps. When he is done, he steps behind me and fucks me into oblivion. No mercy, no concern for pain, just hammering himself in and out with a need that is hot and unforgiving. I beg for release and he denies me. I beg over and over and hold on pulling at the sheets with my fists in hopes that I can wait as my body slams into the bed and back into him. He grants me the permission I need and I cum again hard and fast and he fills me with his sweet warmth. My bottom is scorched and my heart is warm and as I curl in next to him later I feel complete. In my mind I chuckle that this is the man who went with me earlier to pick up flour, sugar, sprinkles, butter and pecans so that we can make Christmas cookies in the coming days, drinking his amazing coffee and listening to jazz as we put together his recipes, giggling, laughing and just enjoying our time together. Ahhhhhhh…..sleep comes quickly.

Parties, parties, parties...

2007-11-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

Well it's that time of year and our calendar if filling up fast. Every weekend of December has a party to go to. But the one that I am most looking forward to is this weekend. It's a play party. A chance to mingle with those who have the same interests that we do. To watch people do the things we love so much. We are not exhibitionists but oh we are voyeurs. There are two dungeons there and lots for the guests to play on or in...lol. I've told "R" that perhaps one day we can host a play party. He has the most equisite of dungeon furniture including his St. Andrews Cross, The Pussy Pony, The Amazing Spanking Bench, a few Horses all nicely padded for added comfort..lol. Stocks and vices and many many toys and lets not forget the ........ drum roll please......the.....GYNO table...Oh yes my amazing Master has built some rather interesting furniture. OK, enough of that, i'm fanning myself now.."sigh".
But all kidding aside this is a fun place to go and there will be a wonderful dinner and lots of people to chat with. "R" has asked if he should bring me in on my leash. While this makes my tummy flutter it would certainly make me anxious, however I'm quite sure I would not be the only one. He has told me that I WILL be wearing my collar. I'm wondering if it will be my leather collar or the stainless steel one. I love them both.
His former sub will be there. The one who just does not let go. She was so very kind to let him know that she would be attending as well and she would be solo. My claws come out on this one. I try not to say much, but the words slip past my tongue sometimes to him and he knows I don't like her. But I will be on my best behavior. I just hope that this party she does not hog the show all night like she did the last time. It made it uncomfortable to go downstairs and so we missed alot of activity. Although this time I'm not sure I would care one way or the other.
Well off I go for another day. I am off from work for the next 4 days and Christmas shopping calls along with a high maintenence day (ie:fingers and toes) a flu shot and mammogram on Friday. I already called and asked about my piercing (this is for you Lucy!!) and they said I can leave it in. WOOOO HOOO. The woman on the phone was laughing at me when I told her how old I was and that I had only just gotten it. Of course when I told "R" I can leave it in, his response was..."Oh good, now we can do the other one". YOW!!! Of course I was smiling as well.
I will add more once the party is over!!! Fill everyone in on the festivities and fun!!!
Have a wonderful day all!!!!

Nature Walk

2007-11-20T08:28:00.000-08:00

We had parked in a small clearing and headed into the vast jungle. Of course this is my perception. Lions and Tigers and Bears oh my. However it was a nearby park that had several trails in it for those who enjoyed nature walks and hikes. I was wearing my new hiking sneakers that "R" had purchased for me a few weeks back telling me I needed good shoes for hiking and exercising. I was excited and nervous. Not wanting to disappoint him yet fearing for my slight imperfections. I have a bad hip. Walking on anything uneven causes a great deal of pain if done for any amount of time. It was a brisk autumn day. Gorgeous with the sun streaming through the almost bare trees. Birds were chirping and a slight breeze ruffling everything in its path, throwing red, brown and yellow leaves dancing here and there. Giving them a look of a life all their own. He reached over and took my hand in his and off we went. A little ways in we came across a granite bench. Strange to see something like that in the middle of no where. He mentioned that often people feed the chickadees. We found some seed on a rock and picked it up. He put his hand up to the little birds. Within a few seconds he had one perched on the end of his fingers. I’ve never thought having a bird on your hand is healthy, but he coaxed me to try it. In my mind I’m thinking as cute as they are they are still dirty and carry germs. I did not share this with him but quickly followed his lead. To my sheer delight a little tiny bird took flight and landed gracefully on the tips of my awaiting fingers. Delicate and sweet she (anything that adorable has to be a girl) looked at me gently; leaned down and carefully took a seed from the palm of my hand. Any thoughts I had of dirty, germy birds flew (pardon the pun) out the window and I was scooping up seed after seed trying to get them to come to me. This was a moment for me. After several minutes of feeding them we headed into the woods following what looked like a yellow brick road. All the yellow leaves seemed as if they had dropped just in the path to lead the way to my newest adventure. Over bridges we went stopping to watch the geese and check for fish in the pond. "R" shared his many nature hikes with me and things he had seen and enjoyed and why this was something he loved so much. He was bringing me into a part of his world that is very special and dear to him. I felt honored. Unless we stopped to look at something or talk to passing fellow walkers with their puppies and dogs, some on horses; he held my hand. I felt euphoric at times..like I was away on some adventure yet only a few miles from where we had woken up all warm and snuggly. Often he asked me if I was ok. I was and actually enjoying this time with him. He took me through what he called the “swamp” after we had passed a troop of boy scouts on their own adventures. Their little chattering voices being heard throughout the woods, calling to their moms or dads who were with them. As I looked around at the trees and leaves and water and small bridges, falling leaves dancing overhead in the cool air I felt at home. I understood what he had been trying to tell me for the last year. He spoke of snow shoeing through this area in the winter and cross country skiing. I understood it all. His love of it. His addiction to the peacefulness of it. His need of it. I got it!!
I was unsure of how long we had been walking but asked how close we were to the end as I was getting tired. I knew he had slowed down his walking considerably to help me keep up. (He is a very fast walker) I appreciated it and knew we would need to be done soon and just as I thought I could not go much further he pointed out the car in the parking lot just over the ridge. I told him I thought that was a long mile we walked and he smiled that fiendish smile and told me we had gone 2 and one-half miles. I didn’t know whether to hit him or kiss him. He had pushed me as he can do so well. Just enough and quietly in his own way. He expressed that he checked on me to see how I was doing and he was right. He had asked me often how I was doing. Knowing a quick way out should we need one. He told me that given my trips to the gym regularly he was pretty sure I would be able to do it. He was correct. Would I suffer the pain later? Yes. Would my legs ache for a few days? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. As we emerged from the woods he tightened his hand on mine and told me he was so proud of me. I was so excited to hear those words I think I could have cried right there. I was so happy at that moment. So complete and so pleased with myself and so so so very appreciative of his understanding of me. Off we went for some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and back home to make apple pies and entertain some evening guests before the football game.
That night as I curled in next to him with my body aching from my workout that afternoon, his body warmth became my heating pad and I drifted off to a blissful sleep. Feeling safe, secure and loved.

Busy

2007-11-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note...headed back to "R's" in a few. I've been wearing my collar more. I got up and showered and primped yesterday and found my collar and put it on. I've not worn it to much and the leather is still stiff. It's a gorgeous collar. Perhaps I will have him take a pic of it for the blog. I met "R" at the door when he came home for lunch in my long satin robe, bra, panties and my beautiful collar. Made him lunch and sent him back on his way. His smile said it all and he was pleased. I headed off to the gym and after a nice afternoon of excercise and whirlpool I once again got home, showered and met him at the door with my collar on. Infact I got so used to it that when we were dressed to go to dinner he asked me if I intended to leave it on. I had forgotten. Imagine the looks I would have gotten. But I will say if he had ordered me to wear it I would have.
This morning he reminded me just how much control he has over me (I embrace this very intense part of our D/s of course). I had forgotten he can tell me when to cum and my body will react. While between his legs having my morning snack he asked me if I was wet. Of course I was. He asked me if I thought I could cum on the count of 4. I hesitantly nodded. I wasnt sure as we had not done this in a very long time. He began to count and the warmth in my tummy was building up immediatly. On four I was breathless with the orgasm that took me. Once done he asked me if I had asked him for permission. DAMN!!!! I told him that was sneaky. He agreed and was quite proud of it. Of course he has been trying to get me to listen a bit more carefully as I tend to not pay attention. Now let's see if I get any wacks for it..lol.
A delightful breakfast at a local diner and I am home once again typing here and then headed off to my x's house to see our puppy. I left the dog with him when we split 7 years ago and she is not doing so well, so I will go see her and give her some belly raspberries that she so loves. Then off to see my beautiful grandbabies and back to "R". I miss him already and have only been away from him for an hour. God I'm hopeless!!! But he is wonderful!!!

Disappointment

2007-11-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

I've disappointed him. I've disappointed me. I've let my insecurities run off and take hold of my normal level head. I hate women who are needy. I don't like those that assume things. It makes me crazy when women try to second guess their men and especially makes me nuts when a submissive attempts it of her Master. I did this. I texted a message that as soon as it left my phone I wanted to crawl away somewhere and hide. There was no way to get it back. I slammed it shut in hopes that the "sending email" would dissipate. When I opened it my heart sank to see "message sent". DAMN it was to late. It was gone to the cellular towers, bouncing around the night sky and effortlessly popping into his phone as if to mock me. I knew it would not be long for a response and I was not surprised when my phone buzzed in with his call. I was at work so that was my excuse for not answering although I knew there would be a message. There was and a text icon to follow. I listened to his voice at the other end of my phone as he made his point clear and concise. He didn't sound angry, but he did not sound happy either. I had jumped the gun, and let my silly insecurities dictate childish selfdoubting thoughts. I quickly sent him another text message, as there was no way I could talk to him as I was far to humiliated and embarrassed. Because he had requested me to call him back I knew I was only piling on more possible punishment as I was certainly going to be due this one. I begged him to forget that I had sent the text, to please know that I knew it was just stupid. He did not send me any further texts or calls. I was mortified. Upset, sad.......lost. More self doubt. He hated me I was sure of it. I had questioned him, had suspicions and made them known. He would surely dump me saying he didn't need my crap. All the way home in the car I cried. Once home there was no email. I was so sad to have to have made such a fool of myself. How could I do such a thing to a man who had only shown me kindness and affection and sincerity and honesty. I did not sleep and checked my email constantly throughout the night. Hoping for anything. When I woke up for the last time I wandered in to see his name in my inbox. I sat at the monitor and sighed. Now I didn't want to read it. But I had to and quickly opened it.

He understood my feelings. He also agreed that I should be angry at myself for such behavior. He expressed many things, all of course were reasonable and right. I had really over reacted. He would deal with me later. Several more emails back and forth and we were ok.

I am a sound and reasonable person. I'm not dumb by any means although I will gladly admit that I can be flightly at times. I adore this man, yet I continue to wait for him to give me the heave ho. He gives me no reason to believe that is coming. Yet I wait for it. Hoping to be prepared and ready so that I won't fall into 3 years of self exile like I have done in the past. I realize I'm jaded and I have promised myself to work on this. To find the way to the end of this dark tunnel I call my armour. Armour he is slowly chiseling away for me. But now I need to start pushing it off and move on.

I'm not sure what the end result will be for my behavior. It will be whatever he decides. I hate punishment because it's so different from pleasure pain. But I will take whatever he wants me too and I will be thankful for his understanding and grateful that I am still his.

Off to bed...so so tired.

Cane and crops and hands oh my.....

2007-11-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

The light was only beginning to peek in through the blinds when his body slid in and spooned mine. His cock hard against my backside and his hand coming around and pulling me in close using my breast as leverage. It wasn’t long before I was home between his legs nestled against his thighs sucking and licking his very thick and throbbing cock hungrily. His voice broke the sounds of my mouth sliding up and down on his hardness and he asked me abruptly why I had not pleasured him the night before. As I tried to answer him his hands wrapped in my hair and forced my mouth down as he pushed himself deeper into me. I have learned not to fight this no matter how off guard I am and how little air I have managed to suck in before his cock is shoved down my throat. I hold my position as long as I can manage hoping he will give me just a bit of mercy. I began to pull away, losing my composure and needing air. He released me willingly and I gulped in as much oxygen as I could before he was ordering me to the edge of the bed, ass over it and he was around me in seconds and ramming himself into me brutally. I gasped and cried out as he grabbed my breasts pulling me up and arching me while he continued to ram in and out hard and fast. It had been a busy weekend sexually and my pussy was already a bit sore, but this hammering was creating some serious bruising I was sure of it. I also knew I would enjoy it for days after, feeling him in me and the tenderness he had created. I had to smile to myself until I felt his fingers grab hold of my piercing on my right nipple. Not quite healed yet but much better. I cried out as he leaned into me…”does it hurt” he asked me. “Yes” I answered. “Should I care” he asked me. “No Sir” I answer truthfully. “Why” he continued to torment me. “Because I am your slut to do with as you want, I am here for your pleasure Sir” I replied. “Yes” was the only thing he said before he pulled out and walked away from me leaving me heaving and gasping on the bed. He informed me that he had been neglecting my ass and needed to take care of it. “Am I in trouble” I asked him. “Yes” was his expected answer. I put my head down and stretched my arms above my head, pushing my bottom out for his hands as I waited for my punishment. It was not a very long wait as his hand came down hard and fast on my tender bottom. He did not massage in between for quite some time and the stinging of the slaps was really beginning to hurt and I squirmed and twisted but I did not lift up or move away from him. He finally began to rub the burn and I thanked him quickly hoping that maybe he would fuck me now. As he walked away my head came up and I saw him head to the chair. The crop was the first thing he tapped me with, over and over. I love the tapping of the crop. The tiny little bee sting tapping I call it. Over and over, and down the back of my legs. I was just beginning to feel myself grow warm and he pulled back with the first real swing and let it go. I know I shouted or screamed I’m not sure. Two more followed and then his hand. The sting was horrific as he stepped behind me and entered me quickly ramming into me again. This time hitting the right side of my right breast with the crop each time he took a deep thrust. My bottom felt better actually from his body hammering into the tenderness of my aching butt, but the crop on my breast was unmerciful and I continued to cry out. At the same time I realized I was soaking myself and begging him at the same time. I knew better than to pull away as that would be met with certain consequences I was sure I would not love, but the thought was honestly there. I know he was talking to me, telling me what I was, but I was gone to the pain of the crop and the burn on my breast. When he pulled out of me his hand was there between my legs and he pushed one, then two and I was sure his whole hand into my wetness. I felt the dripping and asked if I could cum. When he told me that he knew I had already cum twice I was mortified and my blood ran cold. I had done just that when the orgasms had ridden in and through me, taking hold before I could take control of them and beg for release. The next smack took my breath away and I know I screamed. There came another and still another placed strategically up and down my bottom. I knew before he told me it was the cane. I thanked God he had warmed me up well for it and I also knew that this was payment for a few things. Not the least of which was my neglect in taking care of him the night before. I could feel the welts rising up on my tender skin. High and red, I would feel these for days I was sure of it. If I was not gasping in pain I would have smiled at the idea of sitting at my desk and squirming for that comfy position. I heard him say “three more”. There are times when we play like this that he will let me know how many more I have to go. I relish this as it gives me the stamina to finish what he has started, although I know it’s not an option to end it. He ends when he feels it’s time to end. He knows my body and sometimes I think better than I do. Pushing me at times far beyond what I am sure I’m capable of. On three I sighed and thanked him. I had needed this for some time. His hands, his toys, his attentions. No matter if I would sit carefully for days to come. It was always worth it and there is nothing I love more than when “R” marks my body. It was only a few minutes and I was back between his legs and nestled into his cock, licking and sucking my own juices from him. I have always loved how sweet we taste together, how sweet we smell on each others skin. As I slid my tongue over him I looked up to his chest and face to see him smiling back at me. This man that would be cooking breakfast for my son, daughter in law and grandchildren. This man who taught me how to make home made applesauce and caramel apples for my team. Whose hands reach over to me in the darkness of the night to gently stroke my hand, my arm or my bottom, just letting me know he is there. The man who laughs with me and makes sense of my sometimes crazy and busy world. As I sit here and type this I can feel his welts on my bottom, hot and throbbing still and a smile crosses my lips and a warmth fills my heart. Bliss!!!

Struggles

2007-11-06T09:05:00.001-08:00

Not happy today. But I am entitled just as we all are to have those days of sadness. I miss my son. 2000 miles away is so far. He has grown up so well and I know he is as homesick for me as I am for him. I am envious of those who can keep their kids close. But they grow up and move away as they should. Part of the growth process. But as parents we get left behind to pick up the toys and put them away, clean the rooms they destroyed with dirty clothes, old food and every magazine known to man that has a sports figure on it, or for the geek teens, computers. I'm one of the lucky ones, with two sons who tackle and run with their lives in positive ways. Making the best of what they have and developing themselves to better and productive adults. I'm so proud. Yet I struggle with the mom thing. How come they just can't stay little. "sighs"

On a lighter note, I need a spanking. "R" I know your reading this...as you keep up on me and I so appreciate it.

Oral Subspace

2007-11-01T08:18:00.001-07:00

There is a place I go when I slide down between his legs, laying my cheek on his thigh and flicking my tongue out just to touch the underside of his cock. I guess one could call it subspace because I am not really with him, yet I am part of him. His scent intoxicates me and I run my nose down along his groin to get as much of him as I can. I know that he owns me and my collar and my piercing signifies it daily and of course the mental ownership continues to amaze and delight me. But when I am between his legs and my mouth slowly slides down the shaft of him I own his cock. It is mine. I lick and suck and nibble and softly bite him, sliding my moist and soft mouth up and down his stiffness.... When my mouth decends he fills me to capacity, stretching my lips and reaching my throat. It is the moments when I am able to slip him into my throat that can result with the most reaction. I am always shocked when I can relax enough to slide him further back and hold him there, licking away with my tongue. I love the magic of that instant when I can't breathe as his hand snakes down wrapping his fingers into my hair and firmly holding me there. My life is his to do as he pleases and I drip for his pleasure and mine. If I struggle he is the one who decides if and when I am allowed up. I try hard not to panic and depending on how much air I am able to grab before he pushes himself further into me will decide on just how much resistance there will be. But I know it is all up to him. It is always his decision even if he allows me to think it is mine. Ahh the manipulation of D/s.

I can suck forever. Lost to my thoughts of what he can and will do to me in the near future I slide into a world of Dominance and submission and stay there with my fantasies as I suck and nibble his hardness, relishing the taste of him and running my hand over the soft curls above his cock. I become the child and he is my security blanket. Warm and protective and such a part of me. These truly are some of the happiest times for me.

Dream

2007-10-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

"R" has gone to Boston. A family party and a Patriots game has pulled him to his home state. I miss him so much when he is gone. I stay at his home because I feel connected to him there. My collar stays on when I am in the house as it gives me security and I feel safe. I am owned and each time my collar goes on it only intensifies his ownership of me and I adore it. I am going to try to take a picture of the most recent collar he had made and purchased for me. It's gorgeous. He handed it to me yesterday as he was packing, knowing I would need to wear it when he was gone.
I had a most wonderful dream last night. I was laid across his bed, ass over the edge of it, legs spread wide and attached to the feet of the bed and arms stretched very uncomfortably and spread wide to a spreader bar that was then attached to the top of the bed. Blindfold and gag and I am left there...alone....
I have no idea how much time goes by and squirming and whimpering do not make a bit of difference. I know I am wet as I can feel the dripping tapping the wooden floor beneath me. I need to be fucked. Want to be fucked. My desires running rampade I continue to squirm. I realize I am here for his use, when he wants and decides to use me. But the waiting is driving me mad.
I never heard him when the crack comes down on my bottom hard and burning. I know it's his hand and I hope that this means I will be fucked. I know I'm his whore. As his hand rains down crack after stinging crack I pray it will be followed with his cock. I can't cry out and he moves on to the crop and begins the tapping and then the fire of the harder swings and the tears begin. He follows this with the strap. Is there to be no reprieve I ask myself. I hate the strap, but I love the marks it leaves later. Running home and bending over in the full length mirror to proudly display them. I adore them. He removes my gag as the tears fall hard and asks me where I would like my fucking. In my mouth, my pussy or my ass. My mouth will cost me 30 with the cane (he knows this is my favorite). My pussy will cost me 25 with the cane and my ass only 5. But I must beg him. And I must be convincing. If I am not convincing I will recieve 50 with the cane and 10 with the strap. He knows that I can't take much more beating on my bottom and this is not a trick question. I know he intends to fuck my ass and is giving me the opportunity to ask him too. But I don't think I can beg for my ass to be fucked. The crop comes down several times hard and the searing is intolerable. I am convinced. "Please Sir, I beg, I need you in my ass". I am not lying. My body does not want him there, but my minds desire is taking over. Strung over the bed as I am, helpless to his brutality and his wants I can feel my pussy soaking itself. He brings the cane down 5 times hard. My tears are a testimant to my love and loyalty. I am his. I want him to hurt me any way he needs to hurt me and I want him to take me as hard as he needs too. My pain is for him. The gag is put back in and he leans down and whispers in my ear...."I want to hear your muffled screams"....and I feel him place his throbbing and very hot cock at the entrance of my ass and push. I am not lubed and the searing heat of his entrance causes the muffled scream he is waiting for. A hand snakes it's way into my hair and he pulls my head back and slams into me fully. I see stars and scream once again for my Master. This is for him. It is for me. We are one in an animalistic place that few travel too, but we know all to well. My body belongs to him and he takes me with the force we both require. He rams into me over and over and suddenly he stops, lets go of my hair and the room goes quiet and I feel his hands go to the small of my back. My Master is cumming and I feel complete. When he pulls out I wait for him to remove my restraints. It does not happen. He leans over removes my gag and kisses my shoulder and runs his tongue down my back and over my bottom. I can not see him with the blindfold but I can hear him walking faway and out of the cool bedroom as I am left stretched tight and still over and across the bed. My bottom hangs over the side and I remember why I am here and I begin to wonder for how long as my muscles pull and ache. I put my head down and stop calling for him when I hear him enter the room once again and my breathing catches in my throat. It is quiet for just a second when I hear it......the whistle of the cane. He is back.

Neglect

2007-10-21T09:45:00.001-07:00

So sorry I have neglected my blog for those of you who drop by regularly. I will be back soon...lots going on and things are wonderful. Lot's of firsts this weekend with "R". Sometimes I feel like a little girl and he is my teacher. Such fun. He is leaving on Wednesday for Boston and I will miss him terribly, but I do like it when he is there because he sees his family. Back to work for me today after three very fun and eventful days off. Apple picking, raspberry picking, new hiking shoes that "R" bought for me..(yes I am going to learn to hike..I wonder how many trees I will end up attached too..lol), and I even learned to process and jar applesauce. More later!!!!

Almost over

2007-10-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

It's almost over. This work week from hell. I'm exhausted, miserable and ready for time with "R". I've missed him terribly this week, although we stay in touch daily with texts, and phone calls. We are taking a little road trip this Friday that will bring us to Albany to see some of my family and then he wants to take me to Lake Placid. I've never been and he is in love with the area. It's a great time of year with the foliage at it's peak. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. It's what has gotten me through this week. Of course it would not matter what I did with him, I am so relaxed and at ease and comfortable that every day is like a mini vacation when I"m with him. "sighs..........."

Tired

2007-10-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

A bit deep today..I wrote this last night and I need to post it for my own reasons...I look forward to my weekend with "R" as I have been working night and day and although I love the challenge, it does tire me out. sigh............thank you "R" for being my friend and so so so so much more....I only hope I give you back half as much.

Written at 3am 10/10
I'm not sure what my problem is tonight. Tired yes, sad...not really. I had an epiphany tonight while I was driving home. For the last 7 years I believed I was not a woman who could be loved in any way. That I am undeserving of it. I struggle daily with this. I know it's ridiculous and unfounded, but I can't help what I think. When you are with a man for 25 years and he suddenly tells you that he does not love you anymore..what else can you think. The scarring from that remains with me. Not unlike a burn that needs many graphs to cover the discoloration and destruction. My scarring is deep and sometimes the burn of it surfaces its ugly head and sends me into a tizzy. I think thats what has happened to me tonight. Sometimes I am so sad for what is gone to me now. What I enjoyed and loved so much, that turned out to be a lie.

"R" has given me back so much. Shown me what a relationship is after many years of useless and empty dating. Laughed with me and held me when I've cried. Taught me about baseball and football. We've boated, drank margaritas, danced, grilled outside, gone to the festivals, a winery, picked grapes, snuggled together late at night watching Leno, and so many other wonderful moments. I don't understand why I worry so about us.

Profile
I have started,
to tear down my wall.....
One brick at a time,
one hurt at a time, one untruth at a time...
The rollar coaster of emotions I am on sometimes would send many plunging.....
Some days it consumes me....
no one knows.....

The wall went up slowly, and comes down the same...
one tear at a time, one sigh, one heartache...
It tires me so as I struggle with the complexities of what I have lost and how...
of how long it might take to lose again....
no one knows....

It has been my protection, my security, my excuse....
excuses for not believing in or hoping
.....it keeps me from the broken heart of so many years ago...
I am exhausted from fighting my own inner sadness...
I pull yet another brick off......
relief....

Overwhelmed

2007-10-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

I'm overwhelmed with the coming weeks events. I'll just take one day at a time I suppose. My family is in from Minnesota. Meanwhile I have reviews at work to do, my own self assessment (isn't that just a joy), a very busy conversion that will bring me to work early and leaving late for several days, along with composits for my people regarding vacations, and finishing up my normal work stuff. A boss that is ruthless and does not know the meaning of work unless he is kicking his staffs ass to get things done which requires him to sit on his fat ass and give us the orders. I actually love my job, but I hate my boss...as does everyone I work with. But I suppose thats to be expected. I'm just really torn between what days to get in early and leave late and how our conversion will go. I believe I have my people ready but hope that the others are as well or the brunt will fall on us. Off I go.

Piercing

2007-10-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

My first nipple piercing. Another wonderful weekend with "R"...and this weekend resulted in a little extra. It was Saturday afternoon and we had come back from grape picking. 70 pounds I want to add of wonderful concord and niagara grapes. Something I've never done and can't wait to do again. There is something so accomplishing about tracking through the grape vines amongst all the bees and bugs and snipping off bunch after bunch of aromatic grapes. It was a warm day and muggy especially for this time of year. I loved watching "R" like a little kid pulling the green wagon with the huge boxes of grapes up and down the rows of vines. Once done we took the scenic way home. Our bellies were full from the local diner and we were tired from the escapades of the night before. Once home we laid down in the living room for a bit on the couches and fell blissfully asleep. Nap time seemed to give "R" a renewal as he walked past me and pushed his groin near my face and reached down with his hand to feel my smooth pussy. I have recently begun using creams and the razor to create a really nice smooth finish for him. He was pleased. After pleasuring him for some time I was ordered upstairs to put on my cuffs and wait for him. It has been awhile since I have been restrained or worn my restraints. I could feel myself get wet at the thought of what he would and could do. I ran up the stairs and prepared myself for him. When he came into the room the Dom part of him came as well. He attached my wrist cuffs and led me roughly into the....."Attic". He had shown me how he had cleaned it all out a few week prior to that and expressed that he wanted to play in there and that was his reasoning for moving everything around. The pussy pony was there and the horse. I wondered what he had planned. He pulled me into the center of the attic and reached for a spreader bar and rope. The spreader bar was attached to my wrists and the he ran the rope through many of the hooks he had so fiendishly placed throughtout the roofline. He stretched me upward and almost on my toes bringing the rope down through some more hooks and he was pulling my ankle cuff out and stretching my legs apart with it. I love bondage. There is nothing I enjoy more. But while it is happening the vulnerabilty kicks in and I become as submissive as one can get. I told him how vulnerable I felt and he was pleased and expressed that he wanted me like this. I should feel open and exposed to him because I was. I was to be used/taken and tomented to his specifications. I was already dripping when his hand came down on my ass getting it ready for what was to come. The slaps were hard and demanding for me. But each time he stopped and massaged them it made me euphoric. The attic was warm and I could feel the tiny drops of sweat dripping down my back from his attentions. After a few minutes he left the room and came back with an ice cold glass of wine. Offering me a sip, he tipped the glass enough for me to get a nice cool relief and then held it in his hand as he began casually tapping me with the crop. Tap, tap tap....tap tap tap....followed by the harder tapping and then the light swings. I begged for him to touch me and rub me where it stung so and shortly after he did just that, standing behind me and running his mouth over my neck and shoulders...melting me. The pressure from the suspension was unnerving. I was as wide open as I could handle, stretched spread eagle for the crop, the cane, his hand or any impliment he wanted to use on me. When he fingers found my pussy and began to slide in and out, I begged for release and he gave it to me in the form of a mindblowing orgasm that rocked me to my core right there and then, causing me to gush on the wood floor below. I felt him press his body forward against my backside as his cock slid between my cheeks hard and hot. The tip finding it's way to my most private area. I was soaking wet so it was no surprise that he slid in with little pain. I felt it and whimpered but did not pull away or move, due to his nature. I did not need a blistered ass today. I knew I would have plenty of marks just from his toys. He is so sensual and so warm and wonderful even in the midst of his sadism. Beating me with the crop and the canes. In between nuzzling into my neck, licking my breasts and sliding his sweet tongue into my mouth. It did not matter that I was stretched to my limits, sweating, soft red welts coming to the surface of my backside. I was in sub heaven.

At one point he asked me where I would like my piercing. I wanted to shake my head like one of those cartoons...my what? We had talked of it many times. I knew he was contemplating when and where and I knew when the time came it would happen. But I didn't realize it would be today. I could feel my stomach flip. He ran his hand to my clit and told me he could put it there. He touched my nipples..and said he could put it there or if I would prefer he would do it on my labias. I told him wherever it would please him. With a little more coaxing with his hard hand on my ass I resigned to my nipple. As he gathered up the materials I could feel myself begin to get nervous. This was going to hurt. I had told him in the past that when he did any piercings on me I wanted to be bound and helpless to his wants and needs. He was going to take me at my word. He did not let me down. I thought of asking for a blindfold so I didn't have to watch as he moved around the attic putting things together, pulling the ring from it's sterilized package. He offered to numb the area first and I said no. This pain was for him and I was delighted (although nervous) to share this moment with him. The alcohol was cold and the smell of it burned into my nose, reminding me what would be happening in just a moment. A tear slid down my cheek and he asked me if I was upset, telling me that he didn't want me to be upset over this. Tears come with needles for me. And I don't know why. I'm not upset and I'm not scared...I just get nervous. I really adore the feeling of helplessness and the control he has of me at that moment. Modifying my body to his wishes, because I am his and he is my owner. It all belongs to him to do with as he wishes. The chill of metal against my nipple brought me back and he advised me to take a long breath and as I did, the tears fell and a groan came low and deep from me as I felt the sting and searing of the needle slide through the nipple. He did it..my Master had done the first modification on my body. I felt myself go into shake mode and I relished the thought of my new piercing while he worked on getting the ball attached, fetching his glasses so he could see it better and close it tight. It stung, but not like I thought it would. I knew it would be tender and he spent a bit of time explaining how I was to take care of it as he put the neosporin on the ring and slid it around. He gave me the option of doing the other one and told me I would probably regret not having it done at the same time. I said I would like to wait please and he was more than willing to do it. So good is he to me.

The pic above is of my ring. I love it and feel such a connection to him it's hard to express. Later as I lay between his legs licking his sweet bottom and biting his cheeks, I could feel the sting of my new ring as it brushed the sheet. I was already regretting not having the second one done. Master knows me better than I know myself sometimes!!!!

2007-10-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

Now you have to agree, this is funny.....

Football

2007-10-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

Well a quick post this morning as I am going to head over to "R's" and fix him a nice crock pot dinner. He will be back from Buffalo around 5 and I want him to come home to a warm meal. It's 63 out right now and I'm a bit surprised because as of the other day they were saying high 70's all week. However I'm sure it will warm up.

Well it's football season and "R" is an avid fan of any sports and participates in many of his own..lol. He is a Boston Boy and so of course he is all Red Sox and Patriots. He informed me the other day as I lay between his legs and pleasured him that this year with the Patriots was going to prove very interesting for us. Because you see my backside will represent his personal score board. The final score between the Patriots and whomever they play will be the deciding factor as to how many swats I will get. If the Patriots lose then I get double. If they win I only get the total tally. Either way he is a happy Master and I will be a happy sub. A tender and sore sub with a few tears I'm sure, but if he is happy, I'm in heaven.

I have lots to add regarding this past weekend. It had been a long time since we played and I was feeling a bit disconnected to him I think. It's amazing how a morning of play can bring one back into focus. We are so fortunate to have an amazing vanilla side as I know many do not have that. We enjoy every minute with each other, be it out to dinner, out with friends, just alone for a movie, or a walk or a festival, we relish it. One moment I enjoyed this weekend and it's so silly is when we got home from the "Grape Festival". He was so tired. We laid down on the couches and he fell sound asleep. I loved laying there watching tv knowing he was just a few feet away covered in the blanket I put on him with my pillow under his head, listening to his soft little snore. It was wonderful. I always feel so safe with him.

More soon!!!!

Thank You!!!

2007-09-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

I send thanks to my Master for an amazing weekend, and an unbelievable morning. Crops and canes and hands and cocks. Master took my ass twice this weekend and it's becoming easier for me. I will add more later this week. I'm off to work with tender breasts and a very sore bottom. mmmmmmmmmm..

FYI-If you look at the right breast you can see "R's" handprint toward the top..this was for cumming without asking...I'm going to be much more careful about that I think. Or try at least. :)

The Blue Shirt.....Oh my

2007-09-25T09:21:00.001-07:00

My peers at work had gone out to get a bite to eat and discuss the day. “R” had only just come back from Boston that early eve and I wanted to be anywhere but at the diner with the people I worked with, when I knew he was sleeping all snuggled and warm under the blankets. We had talked earlier and I had mentioned that he needed to sleep due to an early rising the next morning for a trip to Buffalo. Infact he would be going there daily for two weeks so sleep would be important to keep his focus.

It was late when I crawled in next to him. Quiet as a mouse I moved the blankets and sheets and slipped my naked self in next to him, just brushing his arm lightly with my hand to feel him. As I settled in I felt his hand come over to my pussy and lightly touch it. I wondered if he was sleeping as this was not unusual for him. But that same hand came up and grabbed a fistful of hair and dragged my face to his cock. I knew what he wanted and willingly engulfed his rock hardness with my soft mouth. Licking and teasing and sucking and cooing. The wetness spread between my legs and I sighed from the delight of it. When I came up to cuddle with him, I told him that we should not fuck because I wanted him to get plenty of sleep. Not one word from him as his hand crashed down on my backside. I had lost my place. I had second guessed him and told him what I thought “he should do”. Bad idea any way you looked at it. I was very aggressively pulled by my breast up on top of him whereupon I slipped him quickly and easily into my soaking pussy. He was extremely hard and his thrusts were deep and almost painful as he pushed me down onto him. As I slid up and down, I felt one of his hands slide under my left breast and the other came down with a loud slap on top of it. He was making a point of something and I knew what it was. The second slap almost brought tears to my eyes and I hoped that the third would be on the other side. The last slap was hard and stung causing me to whimper and beg but at least he had moved to the opposite breast. I often say “no” when he is going to do something I am not fond of. Thankfully that does not stop him. I asked him if that was for telling him what I thought he should do. “Yes” was the first word of the evening for him. I expressed that it would not happen again and began to pick up the pace as he pinched and twisted my nipples. Suddenly his hands crashed down on my backside and I moved quicker still.

Oh that sweet sting of Dominance. The control. Each time he grabs my hair, pulls it, yanks it, pinches, twists or mauls my breasts, slapping them, pulling them, tying them or clamping them. I feel whole. I need what he gives me. Even if I don’t like it when he does it. Even if I beg for him to stop. There is a desire in me that needs to be fed by him. No matter the tears, or the begging or the fear. I know that he knows when to quit my torment. When I’ve had enough. He is my owner. My sadist. My Master. My Dominant. I am his submissive ready and willing to serve him in anyway he chooses.
So when that hand comes down on my backside, or the cane, or the crop. When the flogger goes from soft and massaging to hard and brutal, I feel him in every swat, slap and sting. He is an extension of anything he uses on me and I embrace it.

I begged him to fuck me on the end of the bed. I needed him to take me and take me hard. Gone was the guilt of keeping him up and now I just wanted him to cum. I didn’t care if I did, however it would not be a problem this evening and I knew it. I had not played the entire time he was in Boston and I knew I needed the release. But more than anything I wanted his cum inside me, warm and slippery. I wanted him to be dripping from me threw the next day.

He was more than willing and when he shoved himself into me in one movement, stretching me to his size, it was brutal. His hands snaked up and grabbed two handfuls and he pulled my neck back arching me uncomfortably and tight. He pounded deep into me with no worry of my gasping for air and crying out. When I thought it could not get more painful he brought his left hand around to the front of me and grabbed my breast, yanking and twisting it. I was cumming hard and fast, panting for air as he pounded in to me with rapid succession and when I thought my neck would break or my hair would come out in handfuls, his hands slid gently down to the small of my back and rested there. I heard that sweet moan and felt his warmth spill into me. We would sleep well the rest of the night.

I woke up to a noise in the room. It was dark but the sun was just beginning to peek in the blinds and I saw his silhouette standing near the dresser. Dressed in a crisp blue cotton long sleeved shirt and khakis he about took my breath away. I smiled to myself at the thought that this man had only just fucked me to oblivion a few hours before. “You look soooooooooooo good” I whispered to him from under the sheets. He walked over, leaned over and gave me a sweet kiss, followed by two more. There is something about being naked laying in a bed with a man dressed like GQ standing over you putting his lips on yours. I felt vulnerable and small and happy. I heard him pull out of the driveway a few minutes later and fell back into blissful sleep once again.

I told him later that day that he best not wear that particular shirt out with me at any given time. (uh oh I just realized, I told him what to do..lol) I think I would rape him on site. I’m still drooling over it.

Apology

2007-09-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

We sat at lunch and talked about his salmon he had caught earlier in the day. As he described the giant fish and the fun he had pulling it in and letting it go he beamed. It was his first catch this year, try as he might. Even fishing off the Maine Coast he had not been successful in pulling anything in. I was so happy for him, so excited that he had finally gotten his fish. At one point the word "we" came out of his mouth while discussing his morning. I was puzzled and asked him who he was with. He said he went with ...............(his x sub). The bottom fell out of my world right there in the restaurant. I was devestated and in a position of having to pretend that all was right with the world. He is my Master and he can do what he wants. I know this. I also knew they remained friends and he is an amazing friend to those he is close too. He had never lied to me or tried to hide anything regarding her to me. He was not with her any longer for various reasons, not the least of which she was a very jealous individual. Now I was stepping right into her pattern. I struggled with what to say. He knows me and knew immediatly what this news had done and reached across the table to reinforce his affections. I was honestly sick to my stomach. I know how women are as I'm one. I know how we manipulate and work our way back into someone's life that we want or need to be with. She had never gotten over him and so long as they were texting here and there, phone call here or there and iming, I was able to deal with it. But a boat trip. She got to watch him pull in his first big one. I had the vision of him smiling and hollaring yanking at the challenge on the end of his line, pulling and tugging. I could just see the delight on his face and I was not there to share that with him. She was. I hated her immediatly. I was mad at him. I was hurt. I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner and of course the reason was clear. Look how I was reacting. My soup came and I picked at it. I wasn't hungry anymore and I just wanted to go to work. My former top had done this to me, reconnecting with someone he thought he was done with and leaving me behind in the dust. "R" expressed to me that I had nothing to worry about and infact he did not truly invite her but challenged her to be there at 6am and she could go with him. None of it mattered to me. All that mattered was that she was there with him and I was not. He asked me where I was at 6am and he knew the answer. I had worked and then gone to bed at 4, so I was sleeping in my bed. The truth stings. And then my mind went into overdrive. My schedule was going to be a problem for us. With my working late at night and sleeping later he would be alone and bored and need company. She would fill the void. His voice brought me back as he said he could see the hairs stand on the back of my neck. He knew I was jealous of her. And I hate jealousy. It's such a useless emotion and can hurt so many and wreck a relationship. And I hated the way I was feeling and acting. His words were sweet but they fell on deaf ears. I was to consumed with getting through lunch and away from him for the time being so I could sort through my thoughts. We ate and had idle chit chat. Nothing he said made me feel better. All I could see was them in the boat, laughing and playing and talking. I hated it. He offered to bring me dinner and I said yes, but later remembered i was entertaining my team with dinner so opted out. Several times in the first 4 hours of work I went into the ladies room and wiped the sadness away. My stomach hurt and I felt sick. I finally got my self focused and things went smoother there. I called him 4 hours into my shift and asked him a question regarding a text he sent. After we hung up I called back again and asked the possibly fatal question. Did he still have unresolved issues with her. He told me absolutely not. She was a friend. Nothing more. He had not even had her come back into the house. I asked him if he was sure. Now I was pushing it. I needed to calm down but actually this time his words made me feel better. I really hated how I was pushing him into a corner and I knew I had no right to do that. But he was entertaining it to appease me. He expressed his thoughts and the fact that I have the key to his house and I am the one who stays there and sleeps next to him 3 or 4 nights a week. I am the one who stays there while he travels. I realized how ridiculous I had been and felt total shame to my reaction. He had never hidden anything from me. I knew this. I couldnt beleive I had turned on him like I did. I have such a fear of getting hurt. I had opened my heart to him and felt so vulnerable. The fear I have of getting hurt sometimes over rides all sense of rationality. But still something was dark inside me and I was frightened of losing him.

When I walked into the house that night, the roses caught my attention immediatly. 12 beautiful long stemmed pink roses in a crystal vase. Next to it sat a card. The tears came hard and fast and with more shame I opened the card and read his beautiful words hidden in a silly fun card. I smiled, sighed and headed up to my Master with one intention. To apologize and show him I knew I had over stepped. I knew punishment was inevitable and when he gives it to me as much as I won't like it, I told him I will of course respect his reasons (certainly understand them) and embrace them.

He was on his tummy and I crawled between his legs and ran my tongue up and down the backs of his thighs and then to his bottom and slowly made my way to his most private area and playfully teased him. He loves his backside licked and I love doing it for him. It actually turns me on as much as it does him. It's such an intimate thing and so personal and "ours". I flicked my tongue in and out and around him causing him to move and squirm just the way I love. I rubbed and massaged his sweet soft cheeks. Once rolled over I sucked, teased and licked my way to heaven. I was home. I crawled up next to him and apologized for my bad behavior. I told him I knew that I would be punished for it. He agreed. I told him that I didn't know why I acted so poorly but that I knew it was wrong. He agreed, but added that I was a woman and we are jealous creatures. He understood that. But my behavior was not to his liking. He expressed to me what his friendship with her was about and I told him that I would do all I could to tame my actions in the future and that I would never want him to feel that he would have to keep anything from me. I told him I loved him. He replied that he loved me too.

Then we fucked....and we fucked hard. And while I rode him, he bit into my nipples and his hands crashed down on my back side and I cried and told him I was sorry. I needed it and I needed him to know I was ashamed and felt so bad. He held me and told me it was fine. We were fine.

When I slept that night it was with love in my heart and happiness in my world, next to the warmth of someone who just really gets me and loves me. And when I awoke later and opened my eyes there he was, sleeping soundly, snuggled up near me, touching me and I smiled and dozed back off to my sweet dreams. I just love him so much.

For "R"

2007-09-13T09:41:00.001-07:00

I think at times you can not know how much you mean to me. There are not words that I can use or say that can capture it. Especially those times when I need just your compassion, your understanding, your thoughts, your arms around me pulling me in to you. Never more than last night. It is you that I came to at my sadest moment and it is you that put things in perspective for me. I was incapable of it before sleep and because you did it for me, I could curl in next to you and go off and away from the pains of the day. I thanked you and you ask why? "Because you are you", I replied more than once. "You" are more than I could have ever imagined and asked for. "You" make me complete in so many ways. I get closer to you with each breath I take and each day that goes by and so again I will say it....Thank-you!!!

September 11-Reflection

2007-09-11T10:36:00.001-07:00

Do you remember where you were. I do. We were on the phones with the second tower, trying to warn them when it went down. I heard the people running around and screaming that there was a storm or an earthquake. I heard "get out, get out", over and over in the background as our security was trying to digest what was going on. Most did not know it was a plane that hit. You don't forget those things, the urgency, the fear, the confusion and mostly the silence of the phones when they went dead and we stood there stunned and quiet. We should never forget.

When you complain about the time at the airport and the many security measures they take and how inconvienent it is. Remember 911. Be grateful you can enjoy your family and your children and loved ones and friends. Remember that although it was several years ago, it should never be far away because it can happen again. I know. No matter what your religion, no matter what you believe or think. Remember them today and say a prayer or reflect. Be grateful for what you have and can enjoy. I am.....

The Boat

2007-09-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

The day started out as warm as one could have hoped for. We had not had a day truly alone on the boat and the idea of it more than stimulated us to head to the lakes and make a day of it. I love the water. My parents and brothers always called me a water baby. I loved to swim in it, sit by it, walk by it. I grew up with amazing memories of Cape Cod and the ocean. Many vacations were spent at the Cape. One of my earliest memories was walking down to the water holding my grandfathers hand. I think I must have been 4, but I remember it like it was yesterday. He introduced me to the little crabs and critters of the sea, walking me up and down the sandy beach. I felt safe and protected and I think it was when I fell in love with the water and the feel of it on me. The spray of it in my face. When I see the Oceans I remember my grandfathers hands. I know thats why I love it.

Anyway we packed some nice cold drinks and headed to the lakes. Swim suits on we put the boat in the water and off we went. Conesus Lake is not a huge one and it’s not overly deep but it’s a wonderful lake just the same. “R” is much like an over grown child when he gets behind the wheel of his boat. All smiles speeding up and down the waters with the wind in our faces and the water spray covering our warm bodies. We explored the houses along the shores, the ones we would own, the ones we would fix up and the ones we would just not consider. Snobs that we were. Shortly after we got out on the water he pulled his shirt off. Something he does not do and I was thrilled to see him in his glory with the sun baking down on soft white skin and gorgeous back. I promptly put sunscreen on him. No need to let him bake. I on the other hand chose to wait a bit. I had other plans of course and just kept those to myself for the time being. I vowed that he would be naked soon enough. We finally found a nice spot and he stopped the boat. On the way there we realized he had forgotten the anchor. He was not concerned and we would later learn it was not going to be a problem as I would become the anchor. It was time to get in the water and I climbed down the ladder and tried to gracefully slide myself into the wetness without getting my hair wet so that I could look lovely as I swam around like a mermaid. PLOP…….I was submerged before I could close my eyes…..and under the water I swore at myself for my lack of judgment in sliding in. There would be no mermaid here now…. Up I came sputtering and laughing. God what a site I knew I was. He was in shortly behind me and we swam around like children. Imagine how excited I was to find that he to was a water baby. Loving it, playing in it and enjoying every second. At one point I put my plan into action and I yanked at his swim suit pulling it down to his ankles. He allowed this and within a minute he was swimming with nothing on. He informed me that I would be doing the same. I had not considered this and how stupid of me not to. Of course he would want that. My problem was that the suit I wore was one of those very tight suits that pull in everything. Getting them on is close to impossible as you suck everything in and pull them up gradually holding your breath. Exhausted once on. I compromised that I would pull the top down, but could I leave the bottom part on. He was fine with that and we swam and played. Soon he was out and I remained swimming and teasing him. Floating on my back so that my breasts would float just on the surface. We did a lot of laughing and chattering and enjoyed our childish afternoon. As the boat would float toward shore we found that if I pulled the rope I could actually swim in the other direction and pull it, with him in it, further out in the water. So in essence I became the anchor. Pulling the boat farther out each time it drifted.

Getting back in the boat was not fun. I am not athletic and the ladder is a shorter one. I have very short legs and as I would get myself up on the side my legs would give and I would drop back into the water. He wanted to help me and I said no. I would do this myself. But I was laughing too hard at myself and I couldn’t get my balance to pull myself over. Finally I gave in and with one pull he had me almost over the side, but I began to laugh and laugh and back over the side I went and in under the water. I was honestly laughing under water and taking in mouthfuls. I could only imagine what a site I was and that gave me the giggles. I’m not sure he was quite so amused. I considered swimming behind the boat to shore but didn’t offer that as an option because I knew he would not go for it. Quite obviously with his help I was in without to much trouble. If I had not been so stubborn it would not have been a problem.

We enjoyed the sun and relaxed while the boat drifted. He suggested that he could fuck me there on the boat but knew that I would not be too excited about that. He would spare me this time. When I look back now I wish I had done it. I would have placed myself between the glass enclosure of the bow and he would have taken me from behind right there as the boat would rock and roll. The lake was empty, with hardly any boats on it. An occasional jet-ski but that was about it. However as he sat there I did get very hungry for his cock and with his arms behind his head and leaned back, I got on my knees and did what all good submissives should do. I pleasured my Master, licking him and sucking him like I had not been with him in a year. He was delicious, smelling of lake water and his own scent that I so loved. He was hard and I made sure to run him deep into my mouth and throat. When I looked up at him, I was delighted to see him looking down at the mess before him with a smile. He had what I call his Dom look at that moment. When I finished with him we took off again in a circle of the lake at high speed and then docked and took the boat home.

Once home he took me to a wonderful Greek restaurant in a sweet area of the town. The food was wonderful, the wine bliss and the company sublime. A perfect ending to a perfect day. Once home we had our vanilla sex. What I find interesting for us is that we do not have to be in D/s mode to have amazing sex. I mean I understand that we are always in D/s, but for some and I know a few, they have to be in a scene to really be able to have the ultimate orgasm or enjoyment from the act. We don’t. I am lucky because “R” gives me free reign to do as I please with him when we are not scening if you will. If I want to suck him I do. However if I am not sucking him and he wants me too, a hand grabs my hair and I am roughly shoved down to his cock. This of course only makes me hot for him and I drip immediately. I love rough sex. He does as well. So my pussy takes quite a pounding from his cock on a regular basis. But it keeps me thinking of him for days. We were asleep quite quickly that evening snuggled together with the fan blowing cool air across the room and over us. I only had to rise twice to clean up from the dripping of him from my pussy. Pure Bliss.

Residual Sept 8th-

2007-09-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

The risidual effect of "R's" work. God I love to have marks.

Sept 8th Torment

2007-09-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

It is 11:47 and I post this for "R" so that he can see I have not removed the bands. I have had them on since 8:30 am when he so graciously entered the bedroom told me to remove my shirt and bra and lean over the bed. He expressed that they are not to come off until he says they do. Each movement creates the pinching and pulling. They throb but not to the extend that it is excruciating. I do this for him. My Master, my owner. He sent me an email (I have come home to do some things and then to the zoo with my grandchildren) and told me that I can take them off at noon. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE...and a very big thank you for allowing me to take them off before I go to the zoo. A bigger thankyou for giving me this time to think about you and stay wet with thoughts of your torment and affections. You are soooooooooooo good to me!!!!

I will conclude my weekend news tomorrow or early in the week. So much to tell, from boating, skinny dipping, wonderful meals, shopping, highschool football, canings, spankings and as always his amazing ability to fuck me into oblivion. So lucky am I.

Saturday-3 days with "R"

2007-09-08T06:31:00.000-07:00

He came home on Wednesday. I was so excited to see him and had missed him so much that I asked on Tuesday if I could have Wednesday added as a vacation day to my Thursday. Giving me 4 full days with him. Once granted I danced through the rest of the day pretty much...

I had been spending time at "R"'s house while he was away for two reasons. Most of which was my lonliness for him and in his home although he was not there, his essense was. Yes I realize I am a grown adult and needing to be near his “essence” is a bit dramatic, but it honestly does gives me a great deal of comfort, and makes my days without him go by much easier. And I can be childlike at times when it comes to him. Reason 2 is that “R” is (as I have mentioned before) the original prototype for the “Ever Ready Energizer Bunny” It’s one of the many things that draws me to him. He does everything fast. He walks fast, he moves fast and he thinks fast. So if he does something like grabs the mail from the porch and brings it in and tosses it all over the table, he has the intention of picking it up, but suddenly he realizes that there is something else he needs to do and off he goes. For a bachelor he is amazingly clutter neat. Lots of stuff here and there. Boxes on the floor in the living room that just did not make it to the basement or the other room. Receipts on the nightstand that are weeks old because it’s where he put them when he came up stairs but in the morning he does not linger in bed, he jumps and runs for his coffee and shower. I on the other hand am a little compulsive with the opposite issue…. Two words for this entire scenario. Good Team. He gives me free rein to do as I want with his lovely home and I simply enjoy straitening things up and moving things around and having him come home to NO work. Coins for years of collecting are rolled and placed in a neat corner for him to use when he likes. I will be printing out nice labels for those so he can take them to the bank if he wishes. Rearranging his dresser drawers to make it easier to find things and changing the folding of towels so they fit better in the linen closet. He honestly lets me do these things. I'm in bliss when I'm organizing and just better able to cope.
Anyway our weekend began as it always does with a lovely reunion as I had missed him so much. He brought back lobster and steamers from Maine and to my delight expressed that we would be eating it all. I LOVE clams, and who doesn’t drool over lobster..Puleeeeze.

It was not long after he got home that he headed for the shower and I took it upon myself to wait for him on the bed. I had been without his cock for almost 6 days and the idea of sucking him made me soak myself. When he came into the bedroom I patted the bed and he lied down on his back while I pleasured him for quite some time. I’m fortunate that he allows me to do this. I know for some Dom’s this would be a form of topping from the bottom, but he does not see it that way. He wants me to think for myself and at times take matters into my hands. He realizes this is “his” submissive wanting to take care of her owner and keep him happy. I took my time and he chatted about this and that as I rolled him in and out of my mouth, licking that delicious hardness up and down and pushing him into the back of my throat. My Master was home…………….

We decided that after his 7 hour drive we would go out to dinner and headed over to Cheesecake Factory where a glass of wine and beer were 14 dollars. But the company was priceless and with the warmth of the wine going down and the conversation (we are never at a lack of words either of us) we settled in for an amazing meal. Because he is an incredible cook, it’s always important to me to find wonderful places to eat that he will enjoy and it will stimulate him. We had Roadside Sliders. These are little hamburgers on small grilled rolls with pickles and all the wonderful hardening of the artery type of things. I enjoyed watching him try to dissect the ingredients and saying he would be making these. His eyes light up when he speaks of recipes and food and cooking. He has so many passions and it’s those passions that keep him so busy and running here and there.

Bellies full we headed back to the house and crawled into bed for a wonderful night of catch up. I will spare you the details as there are plenty to share for the weekend. But the next day on the boat was just a hoot. I will be adding more in the coming days.

Busy, busy

2007-09-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry i have not posted in a few days...been very busy. "R" left last week as I posted below and I've been working on getting things done and seeing friends etc and staying productive. I did put one up a few days back but I'm unsure what happened as it's gone now. I'm wondering if that has happened to anyone else. Anyway I will be adding more soon. I am off until Sunday and look forward to time with him so I will update Sunday or before if I can. Hopefully we can get out in the sun and on the boat today.......

Sniffle....

2007-08-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

Sigh....he is off to Boston once again. He'll be back on Wednesday and we will talk here and there on the phone, but I will still miss him. Last night was our first night this summer with the house to ourselves. His oldest has moved to Boston (hence his trip there to help him get settled in..he's such a good dad)

I crawled in next to him as I always do and for some reason my face and body just slithers it's way down between his legs. I love to pleasure him. The rule is I can touch him or lick and play with him anytime I want. When we are in D/s play I am not allowed to touch him without permission. So I enjoy when I don't have to ask and can just slide myself down to home plate and give him his home run. His responses are wonderful and I relish every minute and eventually slide back up to ride him. With his trip today I made sure that we were both asleep early so he would be refreshed in the morning.

When I awoke he was gone. I remembered he had his Chiropractor appt. I stretched, I yawned and wandered to the bathroom, with the smell of freshly brewed coffee floating up the stairs. I showered, did my hair, makeup and down the stairs for my cup of java. Best around. Once he got home we were back upstairs in no time as I wanted to give him something to remember before he headed out. He quite obviously had the same idea. There are moments when he gets so hard that he honestly hurts going in. A lovely sting as my pussy makes room for him and today was no exception. I was in heaven. Suddenly he pulled out and ordered me downstairs to get the camera. I just looked at him. "It's in my office" he told me. I went to the stairs and remembered (surprise surprise) I was naked. "Go, he barked and don't cover yourself, I don't care who see's you". I was mortified. I knew the curtains in the downstairs were all open. I took the first few steps and my arms came up instinctivly to cover my breasts as his voice bellowed down the stairs.."Do not cover yourself". Sometimes I really hate that he knows me that well. Arms went down and I skittered down as quickly as I could refusing to look out the picture window to the 400 people standing in the window watching me...I was sure of it. I found the camera, bounded back up the steps and quickly took my position once again leaning over the bed face forward, legs as wide apart as possible and he entered me viciously and before I was prepared.. As I gasped for the suddeness of it, he began to pound away. At one point I felt him pull out and stop. I knew immediately what he was going to do and so I did not move back to meet him. His cock just at the entrance of my now very throbbing and sore pussy, he began to snap away. I felt him go in a bit..snap snap....a little more...snap snap...back out and another click and the camera went down and he went to town, brutalizing my tenderness. I was mortified. He ordered me up on the bed and my back, snapping away at my pussy. This was terrible. I told him I didnt like it. "It's for your blog, he assured me, smiling". I told him I didn't want to put this picture in my blog. He did not respond, pretty much acknowledging to me that it would not matter what I wanted. It mattered what he wanted. The camera went down and in he went, plowing at my overly sensitive parts. I begged him immediatly to come and he granted me permission and I did as he pounded and pushed and slammed into me. His hands came to my breasts and he began to pinch and pull my nipples with each thrust. As fast as he did that, he pulled out and ordered me back on my belly and between his legs to clean him off. I was more than happy for the repreive.

I was pleased to find him getting still harder as I nuzzled, sucked and licked his amazing cock. He ordered me up on him and I climbed up with a little help from his hands yanking by poor breasts almost off. Once up on him, the depth of his fucking took an even more brutal turn as he pushed me down harder on him and began to thrust. It was wonderful, it hurt, it made me gush. Before I had a chance to truly enjoy the moment he pulled me down and bit into my left breast. He so enjoyed this torment. Making me fuck him as hard as I could and each time I went down my nipple would pull from his teeth, but he did not let go and the burning of the pain was excruciating. But as much as it hurt, it was that erotic. To the left he went, to be fair to each nipple...oh joy. My right is more sensitive so I did not mind so much. However this time he really clamped down and the thrusting was becoming blinding and I began to whimper, however I did not beg. I was going to ride this out for him. Literally. Suddenly out of nowhere his hands came down hard on my backside with a crack. The sting shook me to the core, and I realized that he had not been doing this due to his son being in the next room. My buffer was gone. Another hard smack as he bit into me and pushed his throbbing cock in and out of me. It seemed like eternity as he can go for quite a while, but he finally came and I could feel the warmth of him spill into my now very very very sore, tender and brutalized pussy. I knew I would be feeling this for the week and I also knew that was his intent. How I adored him.

I cleaned him up with a warm towel and he climbed out of bed and headed downstairs for him to get ready for his trip. He made me a wonderful lunch of Lobster Rolls and gave me a bag of fresh ripe peaches and sent me on my way with a kiss and a hug and his sweet smile. I will stay at the house many nights while he is gone to feel him with me at night. When I sleep in his bed I can smell him and his absence is not so bad then.

I have a few rules while he is gone. I must blog each time I play with myself and write about what i was doing and thinking. "Damn" I can not wear panties on Tuesday and Wednesday and i am to come to him on Wednesday night directly from work. I will certainly be looking forward to that.

Right now I will pack my little bag to go to his house tonight. There are things I want to do for him while he is away.

Nudity

2007-08-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

Bed at 4am and up at 11:00am. I have fallen back into old habits. I will talk to "R" this evening and see if he can't get me back on track. I need a little influence in this to get me there. I don't need to stay up that late. It wasn't even a late night at work, I just get preoccupied and forget what time it is. I don't do this when I stay with him and infact on the weekends my schedule pretty much follows his. On occasion he will slip out of bed early and leave me sleeping until I rise refreshed and ready for the day with him. Often times in the early hours if he has left me I will faintly hear him running back and forth downstairs (I firmly beleive he is the prototype for the "Ever Ready Battery Bunny") and there is still that comfort of knowing he is just a few steps away from me and I fall back into nether land. I recall one of the first nights I stayed with him, waking up and he was already gone. I climbed out of bed looking for my clothes and they to had disappeared as if they had never been there. Funny I thought to myself, I had purposely laid them right next to the bed in a neat little pile. I got up and wandered to the door and peeked out and down the stairs. (This was before I had my own robe or coverup there) He was passing by the steps at that moment and I half whispered "Good Morning". He stopped and looked up. "Well Good Morning Sunshine, I have coffee made", was his reply. Half knowing the answer I asked him anyway, "Do you know where my clothes are?" A very large smile and a simple "down here", drifted up the stairs to me. I knew what was coming next, and I cringed at the thought of it. "Come down here, he said in a much more stern voice but still smiling." Oh My God was all I could think. I hated being naked. I was not Barbie, had never been. I was not overly fond of my body. I am a bigger girl and I have a tummy and big breasts, larger butt and chubby legs. I peered back into the bedroom considering what might happen if I ran back to the bed, threw the covers on me and refused to come out until he gave me back my clothes. I immediatly had visions of me draped over the horse with "R" swinging the hated strap and the heat of each welt as it rose high and ugly. This was a test and I knew it. I skittered down the stairs as quickly as I could and his smile when I reached the bottom was worth a thousand times down the stairs naked. I told him what I had considered. "I know, he told me, I could see you were torn". He expressed to me that he didn't want me to hide myself when I was naked. No more hands over my breasts or pussy. We were going to work on that. As brutal as "R" can be, he is that comprehending of what I am thinking. He knows me sometimes better than I can figure myself. I've gotten better with my nudity, dressing and undressing infront of him. I didn't even do that with the man I was married to for 26 years. When I get up at night (I am to sleep naked at all times for his access) I no longer try to cover anything. I just wander in my sleepy world to the potty, do my thing and wander back to crawl in next to his warmth. Always a hand will sneak over and pat me somewhere on my bottom or breast, letting me know he knows I have come back. I don't even know if he realizes he does it. Ahhhhh blissssssssssssssssssss.

Good Morning

2007-08-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

I am up late and again wandering aimlessly trying to wake up..perhaps hot coffee today rather than my usual cold capuchino. I am hungry today for his hands on my ass and to be used in his oh so sadistic ways. His fingers wrapping in my hair and pulling me here or there as he decides my fate. My preference and first love are his hands and then of course bondage or anything that immobilises me. I wait for his marks, little tell tale signs that I have been played with, utilized.

"She sighs"......life is good!!!

Bedtime

2007-08-28T00:34:00.000-07:00

It's late and I wander around my little place looking for the only thing that will help me sleep after a crazy night at work and a busy few hours at home. I find it right where I put it, and slip it on with a click. "Sigh"......time for bed...............until tomorrow!!!!

Needles

2007-08-27T22:35:00.001-07:00

My best friend had told me to try them. "R" had talked to me often of them. To me it was extreme, beyond what I thought I would or could ever do! But at that time I had begun to need extreme and unusual and I was hungry for anything he wanted to do to me. I had mentioned to "R" that I might want to try this and what were his thoughts, had he ever done it? He reminded me he was a Dr. DUH!!! I knew my trust for him would allow me the opportunity to turn myself over for anything and everything he chose and I also knew that now that I had planted the question with him, it would probably only be a matter of time. After all this is a man who when broached about a new peice of play furniture, built it within the week better than the prototype, and beat me on it that weekend.

So why should I have been surprised when he ordered me to straddle the spanking bench (just a few weeks later) in a sitting up position and wait for him. The room was softly lit and he turned the lights up (unusual for him) when he came back in with what looked like a box of some sort. He walked over quietly, focused and tenderly played with my breasts running his hands over them and tweeking the nipples. He told me to put my hands behind my back and leave them there, and that I was not to move. I was sliding into submission faster than he could get the words out. He stepped away for a second and came back with what I realized was alcohol. It chilled me as he rubbed it over my breasts and the smell of it burned my nose. It was that moment that I knew what was coming next and my blood ran cold. I remember I began shaking, I couldnt help it. I wondered if it was because the room was cool, as I seemed to have no control over it. My God I thought to myself, he was going to put needles in me, and I was going to sit perfectly still as ordered because I wanted this for him. I looked away, closed my eyes and felt a slight grazing of the tip of the needle as he slid it over my skin sending tiny sparks down my breast, directly into my pussy. Before I could say a word I felt the tip pinch and burn its way into my skin, popping out the other side of my flesh just right of the nipple. "It's in" he said gently. As afraid as I was I had to peek quickly. I couldnt beleive how erotic it looked. I remember that my body began to shake and tears were beginning to form although I was trying very hard not to cry. I didnt know why. I was scared, nervous, horrified, excited and exhilerated all at the same time. The sensations were far more intense than I had anticipated they would be and my tears were beginning to flow freely. He slid the next needle literally through the nipple. This one hurt, I cried out, but it was done as quickly as he started. Once through the throbbing stopped altogether although the searing would continue for a few more minutes. I kept my eyes closed, looking away. The power of the moment was overwhelming and by now I could feel myself beginning to sweat. He moved to the other breast as I felt a tear slide down my face and over my lip and I licked it away. I opened my eyes to look into his and I was awed his focus and determination.. This needle slid quickly through the second nipple. I groaned and took a deep breath and closed my eyes once again. I think I whimpered, I think I cried out but I can't remember. I just remember that I was gripping my own hands behind my back as tightly as I could so as not to reach around and yank them out. This of course would have been met with certain serious punishment, but had I not been holding myself so tight, I almost think instinct would have taken over. I was so pleased not to have been restrained and vowed that I would make him proud of me. He drew the next pin up and over the skin of my breast and I felt the stab and the burn of it immediatly. I know that the tears were flowing but I did not want him to stop until he was ready. He slid one more just above the nipple and it popped in with little pain.

"See, he told me, not as bad as you would have thought, look down at your breasts". I was shaking so hard now I could feel the leather under me moving and the tears were splashing down over my pinned breasts by this time. I nodded in acknowledgment that he was right. Not quite as bad as I would have ever thought so why was I crying I asked myself. Between a broken sob I told him, begged him that I could not look at them. "Look Down", he barked with that strong authority that always made me move fast and without question. I lowered my head and peered down in amazement. Four needles, two in each tit. A small spot of blood oozing from one side of the left breast. I smiled up at him. "Thats your blood I told him". "Yes it is", he replied. "Thank you Sir" I responded.

He left the needles in for a short time and expressed that given it was the first time he thought better to only use a few. I realized with that statement that this would not be a one time thing. I told him later that I wanted to beg him to wait a few more weeks until I felt ready but I didn't do that. He explained to me that the anticipation would have been to much for me. Warning me ahead of time could have ruined my opportunity.

He has expressed that I will be pierced when he decides. I will wear those proudly and take them gratefully. I was afraid before..I'm not now.

Work week begins!!

2007-08-26T11:24:00.001-07:00

Back to work after another delightful weekend with my Master. We had an amazing time last night at the Baseball game, hungrily chowing down the best hot dogs we had ever ordered. His with sauerkraut, onions and some other assorted things. I had chili and mustard. A very old favorite of mine. But these were foot longs and they were huge foot longs. Usually you get the skinny ones and those are a treat, but these far exceeded any I have ever seen or eaten. We were in Hotdog heaven. The air was a nice 78 with a cool breeze and we were in the second row. The child in me loves the mascots and they had some really cute ones this game. More than normal. The baseball addict in him was excited to see his Red Sox Minor league play. Farm Team, whatever they are. As you can see I have not yet got the lingo but am getting there. I think it ranked as one of our favorite games. Ahead, then tie then ahead and behind and we lost. But we never lose when we go to a game and have a great time now do we!!!

Back home I quickly undress and wait for him so that I can get my sucking in. I truly need it and am so at home between his legs. We spent quite a lot of time talking of slaves and submission and 24/7 relationships of slaves and Masters. It’s all very interesting to both of us and in our learning its fun to compare notes and what we have either seen or done. Soon I am running my hands in his hair and fall asleep, only to be woken in the early morning hours by one very frisky “R”. Fucking me on my back as hard as he can as I am waking up and then dragging my face down to his cock to clean him, before he sends me to the end of the bed to literally hammer me into the edge of the mattress as I whimper for permission to cum and I do several times. My pussy was raw from his attack, as I slid slowly and happily back into the bed across the wet spot of my own juices earlier. I waited for a second to see if I would be once again pulled down to continue pleasuring him. I am not and so head into the bathroom to bring a towel and wipe to freshen him up. Soon we are sleeping once again………………..

Up this morning and off to breakfast. I am home now and on my way out the door. With a content smile on my face and spring to my step……..I love being owned.

Weekend pleasure and punishment

2007-08-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

I came to "R" on Thursday night (late after work), crawling in next to him as he slept. Quietly pulling down the blanket and then the sheet. His body was warm in the coolness of the room as I slithered down between his legs. My senses often become overwhelmed just from the scent of him and the warmth of his skin against me. His soft breathing as I just lightly begin to lick him. The moistness between my legs as my mouth begins to swallow his very hard cock sliding him to my throat. I know he is awake when he begins to move in rhythym with me. No words are needed right now. I am home between his legs, doing what I crave and need to do as often as I am allowed. His hands in my hair lightly playing with it. He adores being woken up like this and I adore doing it. I am up on him quickly and he knows I am in need tonight. My urgency gives me away. His fingers pinching my nipples as I ride him. He pulls my breasts to him and begins to bite and I feel his cock getting even harder as his thrusting becomes deep and hard and the pain from his teeth on my nipples almost excruciating. No need to whine, he is not concerned and should I pull away or complain, it will get worse. I ride him and as always I feel myself literally dripping from the pain of it. Soon after I am once again between his legs, cleaning my juices from him and enjoying my mouth fuck.

I stop for a bit and crawl up next to him to chat about our weeks. When I work it's hard to really have any indepth discussions on much, so this is some of my favorite times. He is interested in what I do and how my week has been and I him. We laugh a bit, talking about this and that and suddenly there is a hand gripping my hair tightly roughly pulling my head down to his groin..."Shut up now and suck me". I wonder if I will get to his cock before I melt into a puddle right there. God I love when he shows his ownership like that and the minute my mouth touches him I want to cum. As always (and I don't really know why because I try to hide it) he knows I want to cum and asks me. I'm not allowed to come without his expressed permission. I tell him I will wait. He orders me to the end of the bed, bent over from the waist to wait for my fucking. Almost before I am there he is behind me and shoves his heat into me with one motion. I gasp from the suddeness of it. Even though I love how rough he is, I still react. He seems to get great joy from literally hammering away at my poor pussy, slamming into me, back out and again slamming into me again. It feels like tiny lightning bolts shooting into my cervix and I beg to cum. I need to cum. "R" decides he will allow this and will cum with me and does, filling me to capacity as his hands rest on the small of my back and I tense and writhe under him from the intensity of the orgasm. Often times he will hold himself in me as he did this time and I enjoy it. I love feeling him there and the emptiness of my pussy as he slides out slowly.

Tonight I want to keep his cum, it belongs to me. (Two days later he expresses to me that he knew this, and again I shake my head as to how much he has me figured out) I run to my bag and grab my panties to put them on and slide in next to him. We cuddle, chat some more and fall into blissful sleep skin on skin, soft breathing and warmth in the coolness of an air conditioned room with a fan softly humming.

The next day "R" wants to go boating. I am thrilled because I've only had one day on the boat this summer. WE gather up his son (23) and off we go. What an amazing afternoon. I was spotter, "R" was the driver and his son did his water boarding. I took lots of pics and although it was a very muggy and hot day, the water kept us cool. However the very best part was when "R" was talked into tubing. Into the water my Master went and on to the large inflated donut. I knew that his son would give him quite the ride and I was not to be disappointed. It was different for me to see him in such a vulnerable positon and if I had not been laughing so hard I might have felt bad for him...lol. (Keep in mind he was having the time of his life) When his son hit 25 miles an hour and I could only see "R" bouncing up and off the donut, back down, up and off again and back down and I was convinced he was going to be thrown brutally into the water face first, and possibly drown, I turned to his son and said.."please don't kill him". At which point his son expressed that he would never do that...but I was unsure if he meant it given the sneaky grin he had. He did stop shortly after however and given the smiles and laughs of Master there would be another ride and there was. It was a great time.

Back home, showers and off to dinner. A few wines and beers and full bellies we were on our way back to the house. Master drove and I slithered up next to him. I love to torment him in the car. Putting my hands on his cock outside of his Khakis and rubbing it. Licking and chewing on his ear and whispering about how much I needed his cock tonight. "R" eats this up. He deserves it. I enjoy it. "Are you horney dear girl" is his classic reply to my naughtiness. I love when he calls me "dear girl"..there is something so endearing to it. It puts me into that submissive state and I'm not sure why. But the torment continues until we pull in the driveway and once in the house I am all but bounding up the steps to await him in the bed. I put him to sleep with a nice long licking and sucking, a soft back rub and once he is on his side I softly scratch his head and play with his hair. When I play with his hair I fall asleep. It's my comfort I think. I wake up a bit later and notice between the blinds I can see heat lightning. I would be frightened if I were alone. Soft rumbles from the night sky, flickering lightning, his soft breathing, the fan humming and I can feel my eyes getting tired again and at some point I was off to la la land. Such sweetness.

Morning is always wonderful, waking up next to him. Often times I am woken with his fingers pinching my tender nips. Causing me to wince and squirm which only makes him pinch harder. I've gotten much better at not pulling away from him. That leads to certain punishment. However today as I sucked him from between his legs he reminds me of an indescretion earlier this week. One I had forgotten about. He is not one who punishes often so when he does it's not usually a very good time for me. But I do take ownership for my lack of better judgement and I take my punishments as he gives them. They are always deserved, as "R" does not punish without good reason. Many Dom's will find reasons to punish you. If I want a good beating I only need to ask for it and I will receive it. But I best be ready to take it. Begging out of it will get me nowhere once it's started. This I know for sure.

With his son not being home he orders me to the end of the bed once again, face forward, bottom up and ready for what I will receive. I try to see what he has pulled from the closet but he hides it behind his back. We have not played in sometime and I know my bottom will be very vulnerable to this and I am correct as I feel the sting of the first hand spank on my ass. "R" has the hardest hands I have ever encountered. He is the only Dom that can make me cry from something as simple as a hand spanking they are so hard. He is not doing much rubbing with this warm up and I opt not to mention this as I know it's punishment and I'm lucky to even be getting this. I can feel the warmth beginning to spread and I know that he is warming me because he will be using something that is going to really sting. He stops and tells me to count and I will receive 10. Before I can ask him 10 what the strap comes down with a snap. "One" I tell him, and begin to count each lash as it hit's my reddening bottom. I gasp, I count and I take all 10. I know he was much easier on me than normal although the last one almost put me over the edge. I also know I'm going to be careful that he will not have to do this again.
Once done he orders me up on the bed to continue his sucking. His cock in my mouth is like a pacifier. He can get me to do anything and take anything with this. I never understood cock worship until I met him. They were all just cocks. One just like the other, maybe a different size, a different shape. It was always "whatever" when I saw a new one. His was different from the first day he put it in my mouth, my pussy and even my ass. It became like an umbilical cord from him to me. A place I received my comfort, my energy my connection to him. When I haven't had his cock in me in a few days I become ansy, anxious, sad, worried, stressed and unfocused. I NEED his. I CRAVE his. I ADORE his. When he pulled me to the edge of the bed and fucked me on my back, legs high in the air and spread as far as he could spread them, I was in a place all my own. There is nothing more intimate to me than seeing his handsome face over me looking down as he slides his throbbing cock into my soaking pussy. It's sweet and beautiful and everything intimacy should be. He rolls me over on my belly and roughly takes me from behind again pulling my hair almost out of my head as I beg him to cum...he pulls my neck so hard I fear he might break it and I cum with a vengeance and he does the same, filling my waiting and twitching pussy once again, I collapse on the bed. As he pulls out I crawl with my face down up to the pillow. There are some times when we do this that I get so caught up and so overwhelmed with the orgasm and his cock that I can't stand up or even lean up. My head goes right into migrain. Thats what my Masters cock does for me. And I worship it and him!!!!!!

Master = R

2007-08-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

I think going forward I will refer to Master as R. It's easy and quicker to type. I refer to him as many things at different times. (I won't mention the things I refer to him as in my head when he is being exceptionally sadistic) Sometimes he is "Sir" when I am being ordered or demanded, other times he is Master when we are having a conversation, but always he is "R". It just makes it easier. I don't think that makes me lazy? Anyway in speaking with him this morning he sent me a picture. A wonderful blog to be had with that one and I will work on that this weekend. For now I must get myself motivated for a very busy and eventful day.

Bruise.....Yum

2007-08-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

As I ran around getting things done today, laundry, lunch for the week (back on South Beach), banking online, talking to my sons in California,,,,,,I kept noticing a twinge in my bra. Odd I thought that I would be feeling that. I had not been with him in a few days due to work. I decided to see what this mysterious twinge was and upon pulling off my clothes for my 2nd shower of the day I see that I still have a very prominent bruise from his biting of my nips this past weekend. To say that when he does that it's excruciating is putting it mildly. But for days I know he has been there and of course there in lies the reason he does it!!!! I was thrilled to find this little treasure and confused with why I didn't feel it quite so much yesterday. I have not spoken with Master today, giving him a break from my neediness to hear his voice. But I had hoped he would call me...sigh. Off to work with my chicken salad and cheese. A nice sugar free Red Bull to get me motivated.....it's going to be a busy one tonight.

Hungry

2007-08-21T09:50:00.001-07:00

God I'm hungry. And not for food, although I will be headed to him in a few minutes as he is making me lunch. It's been a quick summer and we have not had the opportunities to play as much as we would like with his son staying with him before he heads to college in a few weeks. We've certainly made good with our time together, with long busy weekends full of meeting friends out for dinner, movies, day trips to the mountains, boating (although i only got to go once due to the unusual cool summer) birthday parties, weddings and just quiet time together. So we have kept our minds on other things, knowing in the not to distant future I will once again be laid on the spanking bench, bound to the cross, leaning over the horse, or riding the pussy pony to pain heaven. Or of course my very favorite...a long hard spanking from my Masters strong tireless hands. He does keep my nipples and breasts in a constant state of throbbing and stinging with his pinching and pulling of them in the early morning hours. But wonderful things come to those who wait. This will be no exception. I look forward to waiting for him in the eves when he comes home from a trip or a class or work, kneeling, collar and cuffs on, head down, waiting for my next instruction or inspection. Taking care of my owner as I should!!!

Monday Morning Blahs

2007-08-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

Monday Morning Blahs...

Back to work and a rough week ahead. It's not that I care about the work, I enjoy the challenge and as each day slides by and I stay productive and focused I feel empowered. But my work week involves alot of hours, alot of my time and energy and so I don't see Master as often as I want. I'm not feeling my total self these last few days and I'm unsure if it's a little stomach bug or as he says "stress". So it just adds to my aggravation. I love my nights with him, the warmth of him pressed against me. His soft breathing usually sends me off to la la land in a big hurry. I said I wouldn't sleep with anyone again. I had gotten used to being in my big bed alone. It took me quite some time before I gave in and stayed with him. Infact I think he might have stayed with me first. I can't really remember. I just know that I didn't sleep really well that first time, but I felt safe and protected and warm. The lack of sleep was simply the wonder of having someone in the bed with me. I forgot how skin felt on skin. And the warmth and softenss of it. A hand wrapping around me and pulling me in closer. I remember I wanted to cry. How did I forget how much I loved feeling such closeness. Intimacy. When I awoke in the morning I was uncomfortable with the thoughts of what he would expect from me. I was a mess in mornings,,hair all over my head, no makeup and I was sure I did not smell my usual fresh and clean "Sweet Pea". I hated how I felt in the morning. His hand in my hair, roughly pulling me down to his cock was a certain indicator that there would be some wonderful sucking going on. I love how he smells in the morning. Almost sweet, intoxicating to my senses. I can get lost down there and have on occasion. His cock fits so well in my mouth and the hardness of it causing me to drip unexpectedly. On those times that he thrusts himself deep into my throat and presses his hands down into my hair forcing my face hard into him, I try not to struggle. I'm getting better but still I attempt to pull up for air. I know he gives me that out, only if he thinks I really need it. He enjoys my struggles. I adore that he enjoys it. But it's when he orders me onto him, sitting up where he has full view of me. I want to gasp and run screaming from the room like a little girl. "Say it isn't so". You really don't want to look at this. I would give up fucking altogether in the morning just so he wouldn't have to look at me. Vanity is a horrible thing, and when the guard is forced down and I have to do what I don't want to, vanity goes out the window with any insecurities I might have. Swept away with the Dominance of a Master who does not care what I look like in the morning. He cares that I obey what has asked of me and I best not doddle. I crawl up as requested and he slides inside of me slowly and deliberatly. I am relieved to be wet because if I was not, he would take me dry. Burning the soft insides of a pussy wanting to please. I am there for his use, his pleasure and I take such pride in that. Whether I am ready or not is not his problem. My breasts that have been squeezed and teased for the last half hour have become sore and he pulls me down to bite my nipples. Instinct caused me to pull away. Very very bad idea. I know this even as I do it. Just when I think he will bite it off as he thrusts deeply into me, his cock knocking into my tender cervix, he finally lets go and pushes me upward to continue to ride him to orgasm. The burning in my nipples is excruciating and intoxicating at the same time. Before I know what is happening his hand comes up under my breast and another crashing down on top of it. "You pulled away" he tells me. He gives me 5 on each breast for my indescretion. I can feel the tears, but not for the sharp burning pain of the blows I have received, but for my negligence. I tell myself that I will work harder not to pull away when he is doing his magic on me. I don't like him to be disappointed. Soon I am back down between his legs, licking off my own juices, running my tongue over his soft balls, sucking them in one at a time. He orders me to the end of the bed and leaning over it. His cock is rammed so hard into me it takes my breath away and I cry out. God he can fuck like no tomorrow. He pounds my sensitive insides and his hands snake up into my hair and he arches me back pulling my hair almost out of my head...banging into me. The orgasm begins to build from the torment of it all, the control he has taken from me and I begin to beg to cum. He is brutal and yanks me still further back and thrusts so deep into me that I scream for the sheer agony of it. When he tells me to cum as he pummels my insides it takes all I have to remain arched for him as I want to throw myself down on the bed. He dosen't have it and hangs on to my hair as I gush and cry out and moan from the intensity of the moment. He lets me go and I fall face forward and I feel him take one last plunge and both his hands land on the small of my back. This is my signal that he is going to cum. It is the moment that I live for each time we are together in the capacity. It is both tender and sweet even after as brutal a fuck as he has given me. He makes just a small mmmmmm sound that I have grown to absolutely love. My Owner has cum. For me (and I tell him this all the time) it's the icing on the cake. I am either quickly on my knees to lick him off or bent over to do the deed. It is my job to clean him after these amazing times. When I head into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, I cringe. I have to laugh as well. I am a fucking mess...literally. Throughout the day I carry him in me, dripping here and there as a reminder of his ownership. My breasts throb from their beating and the marks make me smile. The tenderness of my nipples cause me to wince each time they rub against anything. Again I smile. How lucky could any submissive be. I feel soooooooooooooo blessed.

The Visit-The Journey Begins Feb. 23, 2007

2007-08-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

The following is the actual beginning of my journey with Master. We had played just a couple of times before this and he had been kind enough to allow me to enjoy his cock and the intimacy it brought to our sessions. Of course he has become very good at using this as a tool for many things, not the least of which would be begging for it. Which I will do on any given day!!!! He has the most amazing cock I have encountered and it fits me perfectly. "Lucky me".

Please note that this is written in the third person. Just a comfortable format for me I guess, no actual reason for it.

The Visit
Feb 23, 2007
She had prepared herself as he requested. Dressed in a black velvet corset with white lace cap sleeves. She wore black thigh highs, a black patent leather collar and her beloved ankle and wrist cuffs. Part of the instructions included the positioning of herself leaned forward over the bed, ass vulnerable and blindfolded to complete the look. She waited. The room was cool and the music from the other room filtered into her softly and she listened for any sign of him coming through the door. She could smell her perfume as the darkness of the blindfold made everything magnified and ominous. The softness of the fur lined cuffs cut in to her regardless due to the tightness she had placed them on with. She knew he would loosen them if he thought they needed to be. She remained over the bed, legs spread wide and arms stretched close together over her head. Her hands were attached together by the D rings of her cuffs. She put her head down and as patiently as she could; continued to wait. Seconds ticked into minutes, minutes into what seemed like hours. Every noise caused her to jump and her head to come up. But it was never him. The waiting was horrendous. She put her head down and sighed thinking this was much harder than she thought it would be.
The first sting came down hard and startled her. She did not hear him enter and had forgotten how hard his hands were; but did remember they did not get tired. The next sting was as bad as the first one and she squirmed a bit and cried out that it hurt. As hard as his hands could be, they were that soft when they rubbed and massaged her bottom. She had not played in a few days and he had already told her she would have to ask to cum and at times he would make her pay for it. She remembered this as his hand slid down between her legs to check for wetness. It was then she realized he had not uttered a sound and this was very disturbing to her. She wanted and needed to hear his voice. His hands slid over the bare skin of her warmed bottom and over her corset; up to her shoulders and back down. He could be so tender, so erotic. She could feel her stomach beginning to get warm from the inside out. Beneath the blindfold she felt herself melding to a puddle of calmness, when the sting caught her again. She jumped at the suddenness of it as he landed one after the other on her bottom with his hand over and over. She started to whimper from the sizzle of his hot hands and he stopped and continued her massage. It amazed her how something that could bring such torment could bring pleasure to her almost instantaneously. She knew she was beginning to get wet. Her pussy was getting hot and the juices were flowing. She wondered how long he would make her wait. His hands followed her up the outside of her corset once again and back down to her bare bottom. He rubbed and massaged and slid his hands between her legs again.
In the silence of her world she was able to hear him walk away and it sounded like he was digging in his bag for something. They had been talking quite a lot online lately and he had shared that paddle making was becoming a bit of an obsession with him. His creativity always amazed and impressed her. His attention to detail. He had told her that she would be his guinea pig for what his paddles could do. At the time this excited her and she typed back to him how much she looked forward to this. But now as she leaned over the bed fully vulnerable to him with her legs spread, arms above her head with a blindfold on she was not so sure it had been her best judgment call.
He moved swiftly and quietly in behind her and she felt the swat of a paddle hit her bottom and she flinched and jumped. It came down over and over in her darkened world. Light tapping at first that tickled just a bit and she knew would be a favorite. He picked up speed with the taps and brought them down harder on her and then faster. She began to squirm and although she tried not to, a squeal or two escaped her. Just as she was sure she couldn’t take another he stopped…and moved to rub her bottom. His body felt cool against her warm underside as he massaged her. The texture of his clothing against her bare skin was magnified due to the tingle of her bottom and the darkness of her world. He was still silent and it was unnerving. She also knew he was well aware of it. For the next 15 or 20 minutes he pulled out several items and used them on her defenseless body. Warming and then reddening her poor unprotected bottom. She was squirming and moving around quite a bit when she felt him move to the other side of the bed and lift her cuffs to examine them. She heard what she believed to be rope being drawn over the bed and then tossed over her. She felt him slide it though the metal attachment holding her cuffs together and he pulled her taunt and tight over the bed, causing her to stand on her tippy toes. Just when she thought he couldn’t pull her any tighter she felt the pulling in her back as he yanked the ropes still tighter. It amazed her how fast and proficient he was. Before she knew it he had her quickly attached. The restrictiveness turned her on and scared her as well. She put her head down and waited for what he would use next. But he surprised her when he was at her left foot pulling it out toward the bed post, running the rope through the D rings on her ankle cuff and attaching her tightly, spreading her legs further apart. She pulled her right leg in for comfort when the pulling in her back began to make her groan, but was quickly slapped on her inner calf to pull it back out whereupon he attached her right ankle to the other bed post. She could not ever remember feeling so exposed or vulnerable. She was stretched so tight she needed to focus on her breathing. She could only imagine his grin as he walked around her and observed his masterpiece. She was uncomfortable and knew that she would feel the residuals of this restraint for days to come, and that it would eventually get more unpleasant this evening with the strength of the bonds. She was intimidated by her lack of movement. There would be no wiggle room away from impending tools of torture. She was totally at his mercy with nothing protecting her pussy or ass. She was dripping with just the anticipation of it.
His hands moved to her bottom again, stroking the warmth of her cheeks and running up under her corset. His hands slid under her and grabbed, pulled and pinched her soft breasts and nipples. He pushed himself against her and she could feel the hardness of him hiding just under his shorts now and realized he had removed his pants. His scarcely covered cock pushed in to her very bare pussy and bottom. She was in a zone now. She wanted him to fuck her in the worst way. She knew she was dripping wet and attempted to push back into him. She would do anything for it and knew it. When she did it stretched her tighter and caused her arms to wrench away from her shoulders. The burning of her shoulders hurt, but she wanted what he was teasing her with. For a few seconds he obliged her by pushing back into her and teasing her still more with his throbbing member and vice like hands squeezing her breasts as hard as she could stand it. She squirmed and yelped. His hands felt like they were going to rip her breasts right off her chest. The moment was as animalistic as she had ever experienced and she rose and responded to his touch, breathing heavily, moaning and all but begging him to take her right there. She should have known what was coming next.
He stepped back and spoke for the first time, his voice startling her, asking if she wanted his cock. She answered quickly with a “yes Sir”. His hands were in her pussy at once as he slid his fingers in and out making her moan and beg for what she so craved. He knew it had been close to 6 months since she had been used and he was going to make her work for it. She asked if she could cum and he dismissed her with a very severe “no”, and pulled his hand away. She dropped her head and sighed still squirming from the twinges in her very warm and excited pussy. This was going to be more challenging than she imagined.
The Flogger was drawn up and over her back and shoulders, back down over her bottom and legs. The leather was cool against her warm skin and she was always lost to the power of his flogging. He started softly dropping the leather over her and sliding it off and gradually pushed it into a harder slap and drag and on occasion there would be three or four very hard strokes that would about knock the wind out of her and she would jump and cry out in pain. These would be promptly followed by the softer and quicker succession of swats over and over. The Flogger had always been her favorite and she loved his ability to leave her on edge with it. As much as she wanted to relax and flow into it, she knew that he would grab her attention with what could cause her to yelp or beg.
Each time he used an instrument of his choosing he would set it down on the bed next to her. Because she could not see with her blindfold on, the smell of the leather and wood was intoxicating her senses. She felt a very strong sting cross both cheeks. She had no idea what it was but assumed it had to be a strap of some sort. Leather for sure as it was bending against her cheeks and she was quite sure creating some very attractive welts for him. She shouted to him that this particular tool was hurting her a great deal. She tried to move away from it but that was going to be impossible given the tightness of her bondage. He continued for a few more blows watching her reactions making sure there were not any sort of serious complications. She could feel the tears beginning just as he stopped. His hands once again coming down on her bottom, but this time for some soothing. Something cool had been dripped on her and she felt him caressing it in. It felt delicious and immediately took the burn away; she knew it was a calming lotion. She asked him what tool he had used on her and he reached over and placed it in her hands to feel it and let her hold it. She understood why it brought tears to her eyes, and dampness to her pussy. It was leather for sure and attached to a beautifully crafted handle. As am implement of punishment she could see that something like this would be close to horrific. She would make a mental note of that to herself, and always be a very good girl. She clung to the strap in hopes he would forget about it.
By this time he had stepped away and was back in his bag. She could have never been prepared for what came across her poor bottom next. A recent purchase of his had been for what he referred to as a Scorpion and Black cat. Unsure of what he was using, it came down on her with such a sting it took her breath away. She did everything she could to move from it, but alas her bonds held her fast. She whimpered, she begged and when she realized he was not going to stop she put her head down and tried to move the pain to other places. It wasn’t working. This particular flogger was doing a number on her and just as she was sure she would have to use a safe word he stopped. Moving back in to rub and massage her. This time however his shorts were not there. She could feel the coolness of his cock and skin against her very hot bottom. His cock slid between her cheeks and she felt it just touching her most intimate areas as he pushed his hands under her and up inside the corset once again, pulling her breasts out and pinching them very tightly and pulling her nipples…a moan escaped her as she felt his hands kneading the tenderness of her already abused breasts, and pinching her. The tip of his cock slid slowly into her pussy just a bit and he pulled it out quickly. She begged him to fuck her pushing back and he slid just the tip in once again and held it there. When she tried to back into him, to push him in more, he pulled himself back, teasing her. She begged him again to please fuck her. He reached up and pulled her blindfold off and suddenly she was in light again. She looked around the bed and saw each item he had used on her so far. He leaned over her and asked her how badly she wanted him. She whimpered, she begged and she offered herself to him in any way he wanted her. He stepped back slipping out of her as she sighed in defeat. He told her she would have to pay for it. Although she could not see his face she could hear the smile that came from his smiling lips as he told her she would have to pick A, B or C. He had her look to the right to see what she would be choosing from. The elk flogger lay there next to a strap that lay next to what she assumed was the Scorpion. She was sure that A was the flogger and so chose that one. He immediately picked up the Scorpion and she dropped her head and moaned her displeasure. As if he had not heard her, he told her she would count each lash and would receive 10. Once done he would fuck her accordingly. The first came down quickly and sent a burn through her as she counted it. The second did the same and after that she counted, cried out and begged for his cock. She took all 10 and he moved behind her and took her hungry pussy as brutally as she thought was possible. Ramming his hot throbbing cock deep into her, grabbing her hair for leverage and pounding into her again. She could feel him hammer into the deepest parts, hitting her cervix and pulling out only to slam into her again. He was wide and each time he entered her she felt the sharp give of her pussy allowing for his girth. She asked to cum and was allowed too. Her juices dripped down her legs as he pulled out and replaced his cock with his hands. The orgasm took her hard and sent her reeling. As she began to come down, gasping for air he ran his hands over her once again, rubbing all the tightness out of her back arms and legs.
She came down from her cloud to him sliding something over her bottom. It was cool and she could not quite get the texture of it, except that it was smooth. She would soon find out that this particular piece would become her least favorite. The first whack brought her head up and her eyes flew open. The pain of it shot right up to her shoulders and back down to her feet in a ripple. Before she caught her breath again the next one came down. She cried out to him once again, asking for his mercy. Hoping he would lighten up with the next one. He didn’t and the tears began as she thrashed in her bonds to move away from the stings. His aim was impeccable and he did not miss one. She let go and the tears fell as she sobbed that this was hurting her. He leaned into her and rubbed her bottom and dripped lotion on her. The sting was gone immediately.
He asked her if she would like to suck him. He knew that there was nothing more she enjoyed than his cock in her mouth. The taste, smell and feel of him were intoxicating to her. Next to him fucking her there was nothing she would not do for him if he would allow her to suck him. He told her she would have to pay for the privilege to do it. She would need to pick A, B or C once again and this time she would take 20. She dropped her head, shaking it no, after seeing the Black Cat laying with the three items she would have to choose from. She learned that the Cat was made of rubber and the sting it caused when applied the way he applied it was almost more than she could take. It was the closest she had come to using a safe word with him. Please Sir she begged him. She could not take 20. She was sure she would pick wrong and get the Cat. He told her he would make it ten. But she would have to choose or not be allowed to pleasure him. She nodded and in her meekest voice, said B. He picked up the Scorpion and let the first one fly before she had a chance to beg him no. He asked her if the pain was worth it for him as he gave her another searing lash. She nodded yes and moaned as the next one tore across her defenseless body. Her bottom and back were on fire. Her entire body was engulfed in the flames of erotica and she struggled and squirmed as each lash fell. He finished her torment and moved to her feet to untie them telling her to move them slowly. She had been bound for a good hour and her limbs would be a bit sore he told her. He took the ropes from her wrists and unhooked the cuffs from each other and rubbed her hands.
He had her climb on the bed and service him as he lay on his back and watched her. She was in her element and he knew it. This was like being home. She licked and nuzzled, sighed and sucked. Looking to him as often as she could between nibbles. She would run her tongue over his shaft feeling it pulsing as she slid her mouth over him and devoured his cock as slowly and deliberately as she could. She loved the feel of it and the warmth of it. The way it slid in and out of her mouth as if it were a pussy. Often taking him as deep as she could, deep throating him. She tried not to gag, but found it difficult. She adored this and he knew it.
He asked her where she would like his cum this evening and she replied she would like it in her pussy please. She began to suck his balls, one than the other. Sliding them in and out of her mouth one after the other tenderly with great skill. Back to his cock she went as it grew hard and hot in her mouth. He told her he would fuck her now and had her get off the bed and lean over it as she had in her bonds just a few minutes before. He stepped behind her, took her hair in both hands and rammed himself fully in to her. She screamed and groaned as he pummeled her with his rock hard cock. She could just see the smile on his sadist face as he assaulted her pussy over and over. She pushed back into him loving the extreme intensity of it all. He hammered away yanking her fully into him as she groaned like a wounded animal. In fact she was somewhere off in a cloud. Looking down at the surreally of it all. She was gone to the pain and the thrill of the moment. His hands in her hair, yanking her head back as his cock roughly pounded her to her limits. She would be sore for days and he knew she would embrace it. She begged to him to let her cum. He gave her permission and she soaked the rug under them as he joined her and came with a vengeance. As he slid out of her she felt her knees buckle and she grabbed the edge of the bed. He truly exhausted her and had always been the only Dominant that could make her sweat.

The Very First Blog....

2007-08-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

Master turned me on to the blogs not to long ago and I have since decided and requested that I have one as well. He was more than receptive and even as I type this I will be talking with him this evening to see what my boundaries are and what he will want me to do with this. He is so open to things and I am so fortunate to have found him. He is truly the only man that I have met that was able to pull me in and show me the true level of what D/s was and is. We are both new, however I am only a bit over a year with it. He is over 3. His direction has taught me a lot about me, even though I still sometimes ask myself what makes me tick. I honestly am unsure of my reasons for needing and craving the things I do. I know that above anything else I want and need to be controlled. I desire to be taken and used anyway he deems necessary. I met many Dominants who were more than willing to provide that for me and I had a wonderful time with most of them. But there was always something missing. I couldn't put my finger on it. The experiences were great fun (and at that time I was fortunate enough to meet several who were willing to spend time with me) but there was no depth to it. No real thrill. They were fun and sometimes erotic but still I was empty.
Then along came my Dom in Shining Armour. I remember the first day I came to him. He had a quiet tender way about him. Most Dominants I had met were very pushy and aggressive. He was kind and had a sweetness to him and for a fleeting moment I thought he might not be for me. I needed a "strong" Dominant. I had encountered to many who were intimidated by my personality. I liked his eyes, the way they twinkled and his smile or maybe I should say grin because he does both. We chatted and he asked me what I wanted. No Dom had ever done that to me. I had never had to tell anyone that I wanted to be spanked. I struggled with how was I going to be able to say that I wanted to be hurt in that oh so wonderful way. I wanted to feel the cane on my bottom and ropes on my wrists and ankles...clamps on my nipples. I was silenced by the sheer fear of sharing these things. I honestly can't remember what I said, but I do remember he waited for an answer, not giving me any outs. Just quietly waiting. He then told me to head upstairs and to undress and kneel facing the window in the front bedroom. His voice had changed when he made that request. It sent a sweet chill down my spine. The steps to the bedroom upstairs seemed to go forever as I found my way to the door. The room was cool and pleasant. I undressed quickly and kneeled in waiting. There is something about being on my knees that sets me right into submission. I adore it and although it does hurt my knees if I kneel to long I find it comforting. I could hear him headed up the stairs and I knew I was nervous. The first time with anyone is so awkward. But when he walked in and circled me and touched my neck, shoulders and hair, running his hands down my back I felt safe. He put me at ease, telling me he liked what he saw. His hands felt soft against my skin and he traced his finger here and there and just as I relaxed his hand came down hard on my bottom. I think I squealed but I'm not sure. I learned quickly that his hands (although they were soft to the touch) are hard and they do NOT tire. (A welcome relief since one Dom I was with had to use paddles, because his hands got tired, and my very favorite is a hand spanking)
Before I knew it I was standing and he was binding my breasts. I had never in the short year I had been doing this, had my breasts bound. Each time he ran the rope around them and pulled I winced. This hurt. He was focused and not speaking as he circled and circled and walked around me. When I looked down I was pleased to see how beautiful the ropes looked on my breasts. DD's are very prominent when wrapped. He moved to the dresser and pulled out some clothes pins and applied them to my nipples. Another first for me as I gasped from the pinch of them. But more important was the moistness I could feel between my legs as this man walked around me working on me, so focused as if nothing else was in the room. We had many conversations on line for months and months and his knowledge had always impressed me. His creativity even more. At this point I was bent over a horse and the spanking began. The intensity of the clothes pins on my nips and the ropes compressing my breasts was almost excruciating but not enough to use the safeword he had given me. His hands however almost sent me over the edge. As he reddened my sore bottom I began to invisision what he must look like under his clothes. I had a craving to see his cock, but did not tell him that this time. I only knew that I was getting a soft warm glow inside my belly and I was unsure what to do with that. I had made it clear earlier that I did not want any sex for now (I was beginning to rethink that) and he was receptive to that request in advance. I was glad because I knew that here and now he was totally in charge. His demeaner changed as did his voice. He was firm and he was focused. When he demanded me in a position I did not hesitate or question. I knew if I did it would follow with more strokes even though this was our first time together. He was not the type who was going to fool around. If I questioned, I would answer for it.

I realized quickly that he would be the most intense player I had been with thus far. When I had started searching for Dom's in the beginning I had managed to run into many and I as I searched I tried one after the other, like a child in a candy store. So many different varieties and techniques. Each was different. But I had not encountered anything quite like this one. They were tame compared to him and some I had played with numerous times and had not gone to this level. I knew that he would give me 110 percent and I damn well better plan on giving that back and more. I was in heaven.

That first time with Master did many things to me. It exhilerated me, it pushed me to limits I had not encountered and made me rethink those I had been with. But more than anything it frightened me. He never knew, I never told him. The fear was not of what he did to me. I knew I wanted more. The fear was of my own attachment to him and what I would do with it. I had been told by many not to get attached to the Dominant because they were always interested in more and bored easy with one submissive. It was why I jumped around like a ping pong ball between several. I didn't need or want to get attached and then get hurt. Who needed that.

I left later in the afternoon after we sat in the living room and chatted about this that and every little thing. He spoke of his woodwork and things he had built. I would soon learn he came with many talents. Not the least of which was his ability to build anything he saw a picture of. I would learn later that this would be quite a gift when I could tell him of something I saw and liked and a week later he would present it to me fully assembled (waiting for me) and far better than what was shown to him.

When I went home that day my mind was in overdrive. He was truly so different. So honest and full of life and willing to hear anything I had to say and more than anything he WANTED to know what I craved. He had such a sincere passion for the lifestyle and the D/s. The old "if it seems to good to be true, it probably is", continued to haunt my thoughts.

I stepped away for a bit after that. We stayed in contact and shared fantasies and thoughts and pictures of those things we liked. As I look back now he had become my confidant. I told him everything. During this time I continued to see "R". A committed man that did the Dominant thing behind closed and locked doors. His significant other did not know of his secret and I was more than willing to be the weekend submissive. There was never any intimacy and I enjoyed the spankings. But I found that once I was with Master that I was losing interest in others. I compared everyone to him. I was often told that I spoke of Master differently than the others. With more respect and interest. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and although we continued to chat online we did not get together. Not for lack of his trying. I continued to run the other way. I believe that deep down he was the one from the start, but I was not ready. He told me later that he knew it was a path I needed to follow and the wrong one for me, but he waited patiently.

And now here I am. After much soul searching I made the decision that I would see him to discern where it would and could go. He never pressured me. Good gosh for every Dominant there are tons of subs. He didn't actually "need" me. But I want to think he "wanted" me. And I do think that these sorts of things can't be done by people who are not attracted to each other or at least enjoy each other.

I am going to use this venue to post many of our sessions. I don't really get the word scene. To me it's a session with two people enjoying one another in the most unusual of ways. Ways that many find repulsive, wrong and just plain uncomprehendable. Ways that turn our worlds upside down, inside out and send us scurrying back for more, or in my case begging for it.